Post # 31
Honestly I think you really should disregard the folks who are saying you should have given the cat back. There are very few reasons to give an animal up for adoption. The only thing I can really think of is if for some reason you come down with a severe illness and can no longer take care of yourself. Just about every other issue can be fixed. If they would give up an animal because a coworker is allergic, they obviously don’t care about the cat as much as they say they do. My dad is allergic to cats and I’m not going to get rid of them just because he can never come over to my place.
Post # 32
catbee1234: do you find that this family is often irrational, unstable, or wish-washy or is this the first time they have acted this way? I think you said they had had the cat for two years which isn’t exactly a short amount of time.
Did they elaborate on why the coworkers allergies were such a big deal?
would it influence job security if they didn’t deal with the issue?
Post # 33
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
catbee1234: I think you should have given her back after a week because I don’t think it would have drastically negatively affected either of you. Whether or not there is a specific timeline or not, I don’t know, but one week is at what point you were provided the opportunity to return her. That family clearly loves that cat, but I don’t think it’s fair to assume that family member quit their job because of a client [or whatever]. With that said, I do think that person could have taken other measures to avoid such a circumstance, like keeping/washing her work clothes else where or something.
Don’t feel guilty though, especially at this point. It seems like you’re taking great care of this cat & really taking ownership of this adoption!
Also, is there a reason you keep in contact with the previous family? Just curious because I feel like it would be easier on everyone to “move on.” I’ve also never had to give up a pet [& you would have to go to the ends of this earth ..twice & pay me a gazillion dollars to take my dog haha] so I might not be in the right persepctive to ‘judge’ here.
Post # 34
The fact that they were willing to give their cat up because a co-worker was allergic is enough. I would never, ever, ever give up a pet for a co-worker!
That just tells me that they are willing to give up the cat when it’s inconvenient. Sometimes pets are inconvenient. They sometimes get sick, or need extra care, or aren’t allowed in certain living situations. That’s the risk you take when you adopt one, and as the owner, you adapt to the situation. People who give up their pets because it’s no longer convenient make me sick.
You 100% did the right thing.
Post # 35
catbee1234: If you’re in the right and believe that 100% to be true why did you start this thread?
Post # 36
Jenny120: Well, I don’t know them super well but no, from what I’ve heard it’s not the first time they’ve been irrational/unstable. All I know about the allergic coworker is that they worked in close proximity and he was getting hives.
stephanie091512: It would have negatively affected me, which is why I didn’t want a foster situation. But I get what you’re saying. I’m not assuming anything about them quitting? Not sure where you got that…they were laid off for reasons unrelated to the cat/allergies. As for keeping in touch, I try to do that as little as possible but I don’t have the heart to block her number 🙁
Post # 37
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
catbee1234: Oh I didn’t mean to insinuate that you were assuming about them quitting their job, I just meant in general, I think it was half-way responsible to rehome the cat [not that I condone it, even half-way] versus leaving the job strictly for the cat. I hope that makes sense haha.
Really though, don’t feel guilty! You’re providing a great home to this cat & it’s sad that the previous owner lost their job, but hindsight is always 20/20 & unfortunately for them there wasn’t a clause about being laid off a week after the adoption! You weren’t comfortable giving the cat up after that week & that’s fine ..everyone is different :]
Post # 38
Atalanta: I don’t necessarily but I also don’t think I’m heartless and mean. Selfish, maybe, but not heartless. I wanted to hear other peoples thoughts.
Post # 39
catbee1234: One week or not, I would not have given the cat back. You made yourself clear from the beginning, no adoption if there were a chance they would reconsider. They agreed. Now I’m not saying they don’t love the cat, I’m sure they do and it’s obviously a shitty, difficult predicament to be in. But they gave the cat up, end of story. How about your feelings? You’ve already bonded with the cat. Why do you have to give the cat up because it’s all of a sudden convenient for the family to take the cat in again? Guilt shouldn’t be the deciding factor here…you’re willing to give The cat a good home. End of story.
Post # 40
stephanie091512: haha ok! Sorry if that sounded rude, I was just confused 🙂
Post # 41
I’m glad I’m not in your situation 🙁 How stressful.
If it were me, I probably would have given the kitty back after 1 week. It sounded like they were not really pushing to get rid of their cat but looking for a short/medium term option like a foster. But that was not what you were wanting. So they agreed to your terms but weren’t 100% and ended up changing their mind…which seems understandable.
But then again, if they’re acting cuckoo all the time, I’d just focus on getting some serious distance. They’re not very thoughtful of your boundaries.
Post # 42
It is not okay for them to guilt trip you for this. You did nothing wrong. It’s not a pair of freaking traveling pants to be passed around to whomever whenever. It’s a living being with emotions that needs stability. You gave them the terms, they accepted them. Period. You even have them time to think it over! Time for them to move on. If they had the kids texting me and calling me, let me tell you shit would get real, REAL FAST.
Post # 43
catbee1234: I think you are doing the right thing. I’ve never had to give up a pet before but I am sure it’s heart breaking. I work in a pet store that houses cats who have been given up and even I feel for their stories. Some come from bad homes, some are strays, and some are normal families with situations like above.
That being said, the cat is yours now and I don’t think they should expect the cat back, even if they got rid of her for situations they couldn’t control. Stuff like that just happens. You seem like you are taking excellent care of her. Plus, it’s better her to have a home than to be passed around to different homes and people. At least the mom seems pretty understanding about it.
Post # 44
An agreement is an agreement! You did the right thing.
Post # 45
I can’t believe people have actually called you heartless…
There are definitely valid reasons for having to give up a pet, as sad as that is. That’s why when you’re faced with that choice you need to think long and hard about what giving up an animal means. It’s not a coat-rack, it’s a living creature. You can’t just lend it out for a while and then ask for it back when it’s suddenly convenient for you to have it around again. I can understand how difficult it must be for the family, but at the end of the day they actively sought out to give the cat away. They made a decision and have to deal with the consequences on their end.
I think you have, by all means, done what is right by this cat! Don’t for one second feel selfish or guilty about how this has gone down. You’ve even offered to keep them up to date on how kitty is doing, and to let the daughter visit. You have been more than accomodating.
All that said, back up those text messages!
ETA: I’m not sure how it works where you live, but it may be worth having the cat microchipped and registered under your name/info (as well as get a vet check-up). I always register/chip my pets, but I think in a situation like this it would be especially important! I’ve seen a situation recently that was very similar, and as soon as the original owner found out that he’d have to reimburse the new owner for medical costs, he backed off. Good for kitty, and good for you!