Catching crap for weekday wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a Thursday wedding bad "planning etiquette" and inconsiderate to guests?
    yes- weddings should fall on a weekend. period. : (144 votes)
    39 %
    yes- but, I see why you want it on that day : (109 votes)
    30 %
    no- they should be able to plan a year in advance. : (114 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3943 posts
    Honey bee

    @HaleyBOOMS:  Also, it may sound harsh, but it will weed out those who don’t care from those that do. If you know a year ahead of time and can’t plan for it, you must not want to be there very badly.

    I think that is a pretty poor attitude to have. You are asking guests to come celebrate your day, and you don’t care that the date will make it extrememly difficult for most of your guests to attend? Even for a family member I would be pissed about a Thursday wedding.

    Post # 4
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think you have a pretty poor attitude, as well. If you waited a year to get married, it’d be on a Friday. Something to consider.

    If I absolutely was not willing to be flexible on a date and it fell during the week, i’d elope instead of have half a guest list that can’t attend. Then i’d have a reception at home on a weekend to celebrate.

    Post # 5
    Member
    46408 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @HaleyBOOMS: 

    Also, it may sound harsh, but it will weed out those who don’t care from those that do. If you know a year ahead of time and can’t plan for it, you must not want to be there very badly.


    Nice theory, but not necessarily true. There are many people like myself, who work at jobs where only a certain number of people can be off on any one shift. It doesn’t matter how much I love you, if I can’t get the time off, I can’t attend.

    There are also many people who have little or no paid vacation time and would have to take unpaid time off to attend the wedding and possible travel time as well. Are you going to make up the difference if they can’t make their rent that month?

    You can schedule your wedding whenever you want, but please try to be a bit more understanding if people can’t make it.

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    2055 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @HaleyBOOMS:  What type of wedding are you having? If you’re having an evening ceremony and low-key dinner reception, then a Thursday wedding is fine (just like attending an evening dinner party). If you’re having an all-day affair, that’s a whole different story (adults have work, kids have school, etc.). 

    ETA: What about having a civil ceremony (with dinner afterwards) on Thursday and the big reception/party on that same weekend?

    Post # 7
    Member
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @HaleyBOOMS:  I don’t think it’s rude to your guests but you have to understand that many guests are going to send their regrets because they cannot attend a weekday wedding.  I personally wouldn’t attend a weekday wedding for anyone except immediate family and extremely close friends and even then I might still decline if the wedding is not in the town where I live.  A weekday wedding tells me that the bride wants an intimate wedding so she isn’t expecting a big crowd.

    Post # 8
    Member
    122 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Honestly, I was with you. I didn’t want to pick some random day for our wedding date. Thankfully, our anniversary fell on a weekend. If it had not, I probably would have tried to find a day that did fall on a Saturday that was special to us. However, if all that had failed, I would’ve stuck with my anniversary day rather than pick some random date.

    Post # 9
    Member
    13010 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s pretty rude to pick a date knowing that it would inconvenience most of your guests.  I live in an area with lots of traffic, so getting to an afternoon or evening wedding on a week day would take hours (no joke), plus having to take time off from work to get ready.  You’d have to be a very close friend to get me to change my schedule around for a weekday wedding…  and honestly, I might have a year to plan for it, but I will still be working, so I can’t change that fact.  

    Post # 10
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Also depends on how big and how local your guest list is.  If you’re having a 200 person affair where a lot of people are going to be driving an hour or more, a weeknight is pretty bad, but if you’re having something small with close friends and family, I could see pulling it off.  Just realize that you’re already hearing about this and you’re at the beginning of the process, so it’s far from the last comment you’ll get!

    Although vendors are usually cheaper on weeknights, so there’s that.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Saturdays are generally preferred as most people have the day off,  People worry about having to leave work early on a weekday to make it to a wedding.  People can and do get married on weekdays, just be aware, many guests will leave early because they have work the next day and some will simply decline to attend.  I accept weekday wedding invitations but I leave by 9 PM at the latest.

    Could you maybe elope privately on Thursday and then have your wedding on Saturday the 26th?  That way you keep your special date but have a more convenient wedding time.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1475 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Bostongrl25:  @crayfish:  I agree. I think it is pretty inconsiderate of you to have your wedding on a Thursday and you should expect to get alot of declines.

    Post # 13
    Member
    11272 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @HaleyBOOMS:  i can understand why you want this date but i think it’s important to keep your guests’ convenience in mind. 

    why don’t you and your fi go to city hall on the 24th and get legally married and then have your full celebration on the saturday.  you will still celebrate your anniversary on the 24th and your family and friends will most likely be able to attend your wedding celebration.  it’s the best compromise for everyone.

    Post # 14
    Member
    438 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I personally would not want to attend a wedding on a Thursday evening, but if I knew about it a year in advance, I’d suck it up and use my paid time off to attend depending on if it was far away from me. If the wedding isn’t close to some guests, you could be potentially making them take 2 days off if they have to travel. If I didn’t have PTO I wouldn’t take more than 1 day.

    I like what PP said, why dont you elope than have a celebration with friends on the weekend? Or even have a small ceremony with just family on Thursday? Then saturday do a celebration?

    Post # 15
    Member
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @HaleyBOOMS:  I have my wedding on a Thursday but will only have my very closest family and friends. Thats only ~23 people. Its almost like a destination wedding for them too because every single person will have to travel so they would be taking more than a few days off for the wedding no matter the day. If you expect more than 25 people to come, dont put it on an Thursday.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1846 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Unless you were my absolute closest family or friend would i attend a Thursday wedding. Sorry, you’re free to do what you like, im just tell you where I’m coming from. 

    Wait a year or two and then your date will be on a Friday or a Saturday.

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