(Closed) Catching crap for weekday wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a Thursday wedding bad "planning etiquette" and inconsiderate to guests?

    yes- weddings should fall on a weekend. period.

    yes- but, I see why you want it on that day

    no- they should be able to plan a year in advance.

  • Post # 107
    3372 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @Shkragoldfish:  thanks! I did feel really bad about it at first and I found myself rationalizing it to every person I mentioned it to. I don’t know that anyone could possibly argue that it isn’t inconvenient, because it is pretty obvious, to me at least, that for most guests it will be a hassle. I still wish we could have done it on Saturday, or at least on Friday, but it is what it is.

    Post # 108
    67 posts
    Worker bee

    I think this is a very silly reason to have a weekday wedding, which many people on your guestlist will probably decline.  Not to mention it is a huge inconvenience for people you may ask to be in your wedding party. . . they will definitley have to take a day off of work, but might not be able to do so.

    If you want to continue to celebrate your anniversary on 4/24, then do so, regardless of what day you actually get married.  No where is it written that couples MUST celebrate their wedding anniversaries.

    Post # 110
    4097 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @luluvohn:  +1

    lol I was thinking the same thing. I wanna move there!

    Post # 111
    1306 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @adoc86:  most of us will end up inconveniencing some ppl in some way. I’ve also been running most of the potential inconveniences by a core group & a few gfs who’ll “tell it like it is.”  They’ve been a great sounding board for what’s pushing it, what’s definitely w/i reason, and what the pros/cons are for different guests and for me & Fiance. 

    If ppl keep telling you it works and is reasonable and not to feel bad, just go with it.  B/c when I say that, I mean it fully.  When ppl are being more selfish-type planners, they tend not to check with others in advance (so I’ve never been asked by that type of bride), so I keep my mouth shut b/c they clearly don’t want to hear it & I resent the situation a bit & tend to be less giving.

    Post # 112
    1088 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @OnceUponATime:  +1.

    Having your wedding on a Friday or Saturday wouldn’t make it any less special.

    Post # 113
    1034 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’d robably skip the wedding and elope, in this case. Maybe have a reception later and on a weekend.

    Post # 114
    18 posts
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I didn’t vote, because I didn’t feel any of the poll options actually reflected my views on the matter. FH and I are getting married on a Thursday. Although this does happen to be his birthday, that was only a small part of the reason we ultimately picked our date. It just happened to work out the best for our respective families considering we have several weddings this year (and, perhaps a bit selfishly, we weren’t willing to postpone our wedding…we’ve had an LDR long enough :D). A lot of people, including FI’s eldest brother, were unhappy, annoyed, or downright upset with our choice of weekday. Eventually, I had to learn not to let it bother me, both because we had a very good reason for choosing the date we did and also because everyone on both sides of the family had plenty of time to give their input into our date selection. Those that never got back to us had no right to complain later, we said.

    It’s your wedding and you have every right to pick whatever date you prefer and/or works out best for your family’s and your schedules. Sure, there are going to be days that will work out better for more people (usually a weekend day). However, only you can decide if those people’s presence means enough for you to re-arrange your wedding date for them. Ultimately, it’s about priorities for you and your guests. Choosing a date that is important to you but not necessarily convenient for everyone else is just as acceptable as your guests being unable (or unwilling) to attend. On your part, OP, just be realistic with your attendance expectations, and understand an RSVP No doesn’t mean you’re not loved or important to them.

    Best wishes with your wedding planning!

    Post # 116
    1202 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    It’s not the end of the world. DFs best friend got married on a Thurs and they had a decent turnout. I’d just make sure you don’t have too many teachers on the list since it’s really hard for them to take time off.

    Post # 117
    592 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    This isn’t going to ‘weed out those who don’t care’… it’s going to make it very difficult for people who DO care to go. Why not get legally married on your special date, and then have the ceremony on the weekend… it’s only two days away? I wouldn’t be albe to take a day off work for a friend’s wedding. 1) it would literally cost me money to go to your wedding. gift + loss of wages… that’s HUNDREDS of dollars I’m sacrificing. 2) some people just can’t get days off, even a year in advance. In my work there are some days of the year that are literally impossible to get off, ever.

    IMO you’ve got an awful attitude about that, and a lot of people who WANT to be at your wedding, wont be able to be, through no fault of their own. If you’re ok with that, then go for it.

    Post # 118
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m kind of surprised by people’s responses. I really do believe if someone truly loves you they will move heaven and earth to make it to your wedding. Now granted most of us only have a handful or two of these individuals in our lives. So PP have a point in that a Thursday wedding will have a smaller attendance.

    I believe you should do whatever you want. A wedding is one of the few things you can really make your own so I’m all for it. Maybe I’m biased because I am having a Sunday wedding but we had to because of financial reasons. I don’t think it makes me a bad host or inconsiderate. Paying my bills is important to me like OP’s date is important to her

    Post # 119
    206 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HaleyBOOMS:  I don’t think having a wedding on a Thursday is rude AS LONG AS most of your guests are local. If you have a lot of people travelling, it might be very inconvenient for them.

    Post # 120
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @HaleyBOOMS:  SIMPLE SOLUTION HERE: (Well, at least this is what I’d do lol)

    Sign your marriage certificate and legally marry your spouse on that Thursday. Have your wedding celebration the day after or on Saturday. Then continue to celebrate your anniversary on your date for many years to come… Smile



    Post # 121
    7535 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I think that a bride and groom can have their wedding on whatever day they please but they shouldn’t get upset with guests who can’t make it EVER. Doesn;t matter if it is Monday or Saturday.

    However I really disagree with this statement you made

    Also, it may sound harsh, but it will weed out those who don’t care from those that do. If you know a year ahead of time and can’t plan for it, you must not want to be there very badly.

    If I received an invite to a Thursday wedding I would be bummed but I would probably also think wow so the bride and groom really don’t care if I come to their wedding since it is on an impractical day. That would hurt any guest.

    The topic ‘Catching crap for weekday wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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