(Closed) Catching crap for weekday wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is a Thursday wedding bad "planning etiquette" and inconsiderate to guests?

    yes- weddings should fall on a weekend. period.

    yes- but, I see why you want it on that day

    no- they should be able to plan a year in advance.

  • Post # 122
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    Personally, I wouldn’t want to significantly inconvience people with a wedding.  I would never consider and holiday, weekday or destination wedding. 

    If you are okay with people declining because the wedding is during the week then go for it.  But I really hope you wouldn’t hold it against anyone if they were not able to attend.  Some people simply may not be able to get the time off, even if you let them know very far in advance.  For instance, I work in accounting and every weekday during quarter end is off limits.  No exceptions.  So basically, January, April, July, and October.  I would be very hurt it a couple thought I didn’t care about them if I couldn’t make it to their weekday wedding during those months. 

    If there are people you are hoping to weed out….you simply should not send them an invite to begin with.  If a friend were hoping that I would not attend their wedding, I would rather they just didn’t invite me at all. 

    My Cousin recently got married.  He was DEAD set on getting married on April fools day because he thought it would be funny. So they were married over the weekend, but not legally.  They went to the courthouse on April 1st and legally got married.  Their anniversary is now 4/1.  Unfortunatly, they decided to have their weekend wedding on Easter sunday…only 20-25 people showed up 75+ were invited. 

    Post # 123
    Member
    80 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @HaleyBOOMS:

    Mine is on a TUESDAY! So I’m right there with you. I don’t think it’s rude at all. You get married once, and it’s your day. The day you pick is the day you pick. Letting people know way in advance gives them the opportunity to take that day off to come and celebrate with you. In my case, flights during the week will be cheaper for people instead of weekends, venues (before I found the one I settled on) were cheaper during the week. I wouldn’t want a different day in your case either. It’s a cool way to keep the pattern going.

      

    Post # 124
    Member
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Have your date, but be prepared for a significant number of your guests not to come. Find some wedding zen about it.  It’s not that they don’t love you, but it is very inconvenient for all of the above reasons. I would only attend a weekday wedding of an immediate family member or one of my bridal party.  For anyone else, a gift and a nice note would suffice.  

    Post # 124
    Member
    163 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    I am having a weekday wedding – lots of advance notice will be given. Most of my friends work weekends (including myself) so taking time off for a weekday wedding would be the same to them as a weekend wedding, so no big loss. 

    I personally don’t think it’s rude or inconviencing but that’s my take (and my cirlcle of friends, family) 

    Post # 125
    Member
    9913 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    dcsonlygurl:  This is a 3 year old post.  

    Post # 127
    Member
    2009 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    my friend had this attitude, not a weekday wedding but it classed with a big annual social event in our circle (how they met) and it bit her on the ass… more than HALF the guests RSVP’d no and several more dropped out on the actual day and more who left early

     

    her ‘anniversery’ date was a huge thing to HER but it matters nothing to anyone else, to everyone else the event they have been attending religously for 10 years was more important and in the end even she confided in hindsight she wished she picked another day and it sucked she was missing going to the event (even tried to convince her husband the could also leave early to go lol)

     

    with a weekday wedding many people wont be able to get time off and your attitude is bad, people shouldnt have to use up their precious holiday time for your wedding they have their own life and plans to use it on

     

    there is nothing inherantly WRONG with a weekday wedding, it can be great if you want a small event with immediate family or if the majority of your guests are free on that day (my friends are mostly Stay-At-Home Mom and my family are mostly retired so could come along, fiance friends all have jobs so couldnt easily attend though) but to expect EVERYONE to drop everything for your special ‘date’ is just rude

    Post # 128
    Member
    2009 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    AH… old post

    Post # 129
    Member
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    The only reason to have a Thursday wedding is to save money… and even then it is kind of inconsiderate.  Most people if they have a great salaried job only have 10 vacation days (some don’t even have that!) so you are asking them to use one of those or lose a day or half day’s pay to come to your wedding and buy you an expensive gift.  Unless it was my best friend or my sister, I would absolutely not attend.  A date is just a date- a wedding is so much more.  Pick a new date and it will special because that is the day you got married on. 

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