(Closed) Caterer forgot about my wedding; showed up two hours late. Advice please!

posted 10 years ago in Recaps
Post # 32
297 posts
Helper bee

I agree. You don’t need to pay him a cent. HOWEVER: If you are really uncomfortable with this, it might be an idea to consider to talk to him about paying for the food at cost. That way, you’re paying for the food itself, but not the labor, which is the part that was really messed up.

But yeah; I would just take the refund and go, if I were you. This is a huuuuuge mess-up.

Post # 35
1011 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Shocked face: Surprised


I’m so sorry this happened to you!  After reading the posts though, I would say not to pay the caterer.

This means you’ll have good karma in the future, right?

Post # 36
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Do what you think you need to do to clear your conscience. I personally would have been “I need to take a xanax” livid and wouldnt have paid anything. But just like you I would have probably had second thoughts. It was totally unacceptable for him to “forget” your wedding. MAybe he needs to think about slowing down his catering requests if he is going to forget something like that. 

Post # 37
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think you can consider this situation resolved if you paid the staff…it’s not their fault that the other company didn’t show up with the food.

The restaurant manager is trying to preserve the name/reputation of the business. I would take the full comp and then maybe not write a scathing review, seeing as they did basically the most they could do to remedy the problem.

Post # 38
2001 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Take the full refund.  Forgetting about your wedding and showing up two hours late is inexcusable. 

Post # 39
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am completely horrified for you!

That being said, I agree with PP, there is absolutely NO excuse for this. I think he is getting off easy giving you a full refund…I think you would be perfectly justified in writing less than glittering reviews online and you would also have grounds for a breach of contract claim. I think that you should take the refund and try to forget about it, you deserve it after all of the stress they put you through!

Post # 40
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@ProfessorGirl:  absolutely! Could not have said this better.

He did not meet the terms of your contract. I agree completely with PPs who have suggested taking the full refund, then being generous in your reviews of the restaurant. You had a bad experience which was remedied. 


Post # 41
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@serenitymd:  “Ummmm… if my caterer showed up 2 hours late on my wedding day I think he’d be more concerned about his life than his pay.”


I would take the entire refund and not even think twice. This was a MAJOR mistake. They owe you. Period.

Post # 42
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

OMG you are so nice to even be considering paying this caterer. I can’t even imagine. Plus my dad would’ve probably called his attorney on the spot at the first mention of “discounting the food a little”. OMG. As others said, I guess do what you need to in order to give yourself closure, but I would not pay this person a single cent. 

Also, it really bummed me out to hear that someone told YOU about the food right before you were about to head down the aisle. Definitely not something you bring to the bride’s attention. Its a great task for a maid/matron of honor, best man, on site manager/coordinator, family member that is not involved in the processional (uncle, aunt etc). Its too bad that you had to hear that before the ceremony as their should only be one thing on your mind at the ceremony: gettng married. 

Sorry you had to go through all that 🙁

Edit: Also, I wouldn’t write great reviews of this caterer online or as referrals either, as some are suggesting. If I wrote a review, I would just explain the situation as it happened and then explain how the caterer handled it (arrived with good food, but bad presentation, gave you a full refund, etc..). Why write a glowing review of a horrible experience?

Post # 43
6580 posts
Bee Keeper

@Pele:  I totally agree with this.

Post # 44
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would think that he’s agreeing to completely waive the catering and food charges because he’s hoping you don’t come after him in court or report him to the Better Business Bureau. Consider it a favor to him to not sue him for violating the contract. He was a contracted employee, the contract clearly outlined what time the food was supposed to arrive, and it sounds like they wouldn’t have even showed up if someone had not called them!

Think of it this way – if you were a manager, and you had an employee who completely failed to show up for a meeting with a major client, wouldn’t that be grounds for termination? At the very least, that employee would not be compensated!

Post # 45
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Think of it this way: when you go to a restauranta and they royaly screw up you often get the meal for free. This is the same thing but will 100 people’s meals. He messed up and he deserves to learn his lessons by you not paying a dime. 

Post # 46
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would agree with previous posters that you should take the full refund. If you wanted to pay something you could always still pay the tip. I don’t think that is necessary, at all, but if it would make you feel better then go for it!

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