(Closed) Caterer mini-vent… tell me this will be ok

posted 8 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

It will be okay, but you have every right to be upset.  How frustrating! It would be stressful enough planning long distance – if she was involved early, what changed?

I would either call/email her, or have your Future Mother-In-Law call her – totally unacceptable.

Post # 4
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

im mad for you.

they HAVE to have more than one chef, though, right?

Post # 6
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

hm, regardless of her regular involvement, this is something you guys arranged a while ago, so i feel like she should step up, coordinate with the main chef, and get his instructions for your tasting and do it herself.  of course, this gets tricky with friends, though.

Post # 8
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

This is so unprofessional, sometimes this is what happens when you mix friends and business. Moving forward it would be easier if all communication took place with you, not Future Mother-In-Law. Are there any other wedding related events that could be handled while in Maine?

Post # 9
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@KatNYC2011: I totally understand the treading lightly! Our DJ was DH’s uncle, and was really slow at getting back to us on specifics – he did the DJ’ing as a gift, and was really awesome, but still frustrating, almost more so because he was family.

As “family” I think she would be more eager to please/accomodate you, you know?

Post # 13
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Yea, I feel like sometimes when you mix friends/family/business, they can be lax on the service delivery because they feel like you’ll cut them some slack. I don’t know how your caterer can feel this way though when it is clearly still a business transaction because you’re paying FULL price.

Maybe you (or FMIL) can play the friend card though and ask her to make an exception on the local ingredients because it is only a tasting and not the full event. You can even butter her up a bit by saying that you just want the full experience because you know her cooking is so good?

Post # 15
Member
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

she’s “prepping” the fish? really? this is abusrd to me.

if she’s not even giving you any kind of a discount here, i think you need to push back on this.  the point of a tasting is to see what her company can/will do…not how good a cook your Future Mother-In-Law is. 

Post # 16
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I think when you go with a seasonal and local caterer and menu this is kind of what is expected.

If that is her mantra and her mission statement, then asking her to just cook food from the grocery store could be offensive and unlikely to give you a true idea of the tastes and flavours. Fresh seasonal food does taste different the food flown in from S. America.

If you are that insistent on trying first then maybe she could make some stuff up a day or two before the wedding.

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