(Closed) Catholic ceremony????

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

What does your fiance say? Is he willing to stand up to his parents for you? It’s your wedding. If he’s fine with having a simple non-religious ceremony then that’s all you need to care about.

 

Btw, I am Catholic and I believe you can have your marriage “blessed” by a priest afterward. It’s not a ceremony, I think they just say a couple prayers. That might get the in-laws off your back.

Post # 3
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Girl, I feel you. I was dating my fiance for about 5.5 years before we got engaged, and his famliy is veeerrryyyyy Catholic and I am atheist. I’ve seen his grandma literally convert people to Catholocism before they entered into the family.

I knew early on that I wanted to marry him, but I always worried about how inauthentic it would feel to me to have a religious wedding. My fiance is somewhat religious, but not enough so that a traditional Catholic wedding would feel “right” to him either. 

Fast forward to the actual planning, though: we’re having a quick, secular ceremony in the same location as our reception. We didn’t tell anyone or ask for input on this, we just did it. And we actually haven’t had anyone give us any shit about it!

So, you may be surprised at the lack of reaction you get. But then again, I don’t know since your Future Mother-In-Law seems to be a little too overly-involved. What does your fiance want? What if you were married in a church and had a religious ceremony but didn’t have a traditional mass in a Catholic church? 

Post # 4
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m not catholic (or baptized) and I had a catholic ceremony due to my husbands upbringing as well. I kept an open mind and was very selective about what was said in our ceremony. If you do your research, you can still put together a ceremony that’s meaningful to you as well as to him. 

Have you met his priest privately? I was pleasantly surprised at how non-judgemental our priest was, and he was understanding of my concerns of not wanting the ceremony to be too “churchy”. It turned out to be amazing, and there’s nothing I would have changed. We had non-religious guests comment on how much they enjoyed it. 

In short, try to be open minded if this is truly your only ceremony option. You could be pleasantly surprised, and be able to avoid conflict with him and his family.

However, if you end up being seriously uncomfortable with his priest and truly feel like this isn’t right for you, then your fiance needs to respect that this is your wedding as well and the two of you look into some compromises.

Post # 7
Member
937 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

View original reply
jayymed05 : ahh, gotcha. Hopefully something can work out like it did for 
View original reply
sauve2015 :  and you guys can both feel like it’s a meaningful wedding!

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