(Closed) Catholic ceremony.. or not?

posted 7 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

you ask some good questions.

Basically, if you are Catholic and you do not marry in the Catholic church, then the Church does not consider you “married,” and therefore you are considered to be “living in sin.” However, missing Mass on Sunday is also a similar level of “sin,” and you apparently don’t care about that, so it is very good that you are evaluating what you want your relationship to the Catholic Church to be. So, yes, you should not receive communion if you go that route, but you also shouldn’t receive communion if you miss Mass and don’t go to confession.

I am not sure if you can baptize your kids Catholic…but I do not know why you would want to, since it seems pretty clear that you do not want to take much of a part in the Catholic Church, and when you baptize them Catholic, you are doing more than baptizing them, you are also agreeing to RAISE them Catholic.

I do understand that you have not felt very close to the Church, but it sounds like now is a time when you might want to begin seeking out what you actually believe. Try reading some books to find out both what you believe as well as what the Church teaches, I would suggest ones by Scott Hahn, or Peter Kreeft. 

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My husband and I are Catholic, unfortunately we are not as involved as we used to be. We got married in the Catholic church but did not have a full mass….that could be an option for you since it seems that communion was one of the sticking points for you. We had a lot of non-Catholics at our wedding and it worked out nicely. 

As for the what the priest says, this is where you would probably want to find a younger priest and be very clear about what you want said during your wedding…messages of love, happiness, etc, etc…nothing polarizing.

I am not sure about baptizing your children in the Catholic church. Somone else may know better than me but I would assume you would need to be a member of a church in order to have your children baptized there. 

If, in the end, you are still against getting married in the Church you can have a convalidation of your marriage. It is sort of an official blessing by the church to recognize your marriage. (http://www.catholicdoors.com/faq/qu390.htm)

 

Hope this makes sense and helps!!

 

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

You don’t have to be married in the Church in order to have your children baptised; in fact, you don’t have to be married at all to baptise your children in the Catholic Church.  At least one parent, however, must be confirmed in the Church.

Post # 7
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Mrs. Spring: You’re right they don’t ask you to be married to baptise your children, however I’ve witnessed some cases where church people treat these children as bastards. Wish I was kidding, I’m extremely offended by this.

I was raised catholic and grew out of it due to the kind of things you mentioned, I don’t particularly agree with how they treat other religions, so we’re not having a catholic ceremony cause being a non believer it will feel disrespectful for my entire family.

Post # 8
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Coffee cup:  Different churches have different atmospheres, but it always makes me sad to hear when a church makes someone feel uncomfortable or unwelcomed.  It does happen, unfortunately, but it’s still sad.

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