Catholic Ceremony Prior to Wedding Day

posted 1 year ago in Catholic
Post # 2
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

Will you just have a reception 2 weeks later?  Your catholic ceremony will be your legal wedding so i’m confused about what you hope to get out of this.  It seems odd to me that your fiance doesn’t want a catholic ceremony and reception on one day but is okay with them two weeks apart.  Can you explain his reasoning? 

Post # 4
Member
47383 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not sure I understand his position. He doesn’t want a church wedding but is willing to do a church wedding on a different date.He doesn’t want a ceremony and reception at two locations but that’s what he would be getting if you had a ceremony two weeks before the reception.

 

Post # 5
Member
7594 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Could you do the Catholic ceremony after your “main” wedding? I come from an Eastern Orthodox Christian background and have a few friends who have done this. Not sure what the rules are in Catholicism, but in Orthodoxy, the Orthodox wedding has to be the last one. That would solve the problem of ruining the “magic” of your main wedding day. In fact, I even have a friend who actually had two separate weddings on the same day…a ceremony in the bride’s protestant church, followed by a second one in the groom’s Orthodox church, where the reception followed. The guests just caravaned from one locale to the next. It was unconventional but it worked.

As for the two anniversaries…not much you can do about that one if you have the weddings on separate days. You and your husband will just have to agree which date is most meaningful to you and celebrate that one going forward. 

Post # 7
Member
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

View original reply
catqueen92 :  I came here to suggest convalidation. Seems like the simplest way to go about this.

Post # 8
Member
7594 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
catqueen92 :  Lol the Orthodox church is the same. They don’t acknowledge any weddings that happen before…in their eyes the Orthodox one is the only legitimate one, which is why it has to be last/final. I have sooo many friends/family who had their “real” wedding days, weeks, or even months before the Orthodox one either in some secular location or a non-Orthodox church, then just did the Orthodox wedding quietly later on to satisfy family pressure usually.

Post # 9
Member
5909 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I still don’t understand the two anniversaries, surely if you are catholic enough to be married in and only in the Catholic Church then you would regard that as your wedding date? The event two weeks later would just be a symbolic ceremony and a party. 

Him not wanting guests to move between a church and a reception just sounds like it it creating problems. It is totally normal to have a church ceremony then the guests move to a reception.

Is your catholic ceremony your legal wedding? Or is it just a blessing? If it is just a blessing have you actually checked with your priest that he would do it? Not all priests/ parishes will go out of their way to bless a marriage if you chose not to have a catholic wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 1995

Convalidation might work better. I’ve had friends who had civil ceremonies first and then later got their marriages convalidated.  If you have the Catholic ceremony first then that is your wedding day (since that is the day you were wed), and the other civil ceremony you have planned would be more of a vow renewal, I’d guess.  

Here’s a helpful link: https://d2wldr9tsuuj1b.cloudfront.net/2332/documents/2014/4/STEPS%20TO%20THE%20CONVALIDATION%20OF%20YOUR%20MARRIAGE.pdf 

Post # 11
Member
275 posts
Helper bee

The Catholic Churches I know won’t marry you if you’re not confirmed.

Post # 12
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

View original reply
catqueen92 :  if you get married in the Catholic Church first, that will be when you’re legally married too. The church won’t just perform a ceremony beforehand with the legalities. So that means if you have another ceremony later, that one won’t be legal. Depending on where you are, some people may view this as rude. They want to witness the legal ceremony as part of your wedding. However, if you’re open with your guests that you’ve already the legal and religious ceremony you should avoid any hurt feelings.

Most people I know who have required two ceremonies (usually destination weddings that require the legal one first) just count the second ceremony as their anniversary date.

We got married in a Protestant church but my husband is catholic. We’re legally married but not recognised by the Catholic Church so we are planning a convalidation, which is a Catholic ceremony after the legal one to recognise the marriage. We will only be inviting our parents to this and having a meal after to celebrate (mainly because it’s taken us years to get to sorting it out). We won’t be making a big deal out of the convalidation and we won’t count that as our anniversary.

Post # 14
Member
7866 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

“it is paramount that I seal my marriage in the Church prior to any other ceremony.”

You won’t be “sealing” anything – you will be getting legally married if you marry in the church first. You cannot just have a pretend ceremony in the church prior to a legal wedding at a later date. Your catholic wedding will be a fully legal ceremony and wedding. I’m not sure if you don’t understand that or if your OP is just unclear. 

Anyways, I think convalidation would be my choice. 

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