Post # 1
My fiance and I are being married in catholic church that he grew up in. I have two maids of honor (my sister and my best friend since I was 4 years old). I could not chose between them. My sister is my little sister who is still in college who I love dearly. My best friend has been my bff for 22 years, and has been very involved in planning my wedding. My older sister had our other sister and her best friends as maids of honor in her wedding (but it wasn’t in a catholic church).
Anyway, the priest says I can only have one of them up on the alter with us during the ceremony…this will obviously be my sister. I’m wondering if any of you bees could give me ideas as to how to make my other maid of honor feel special and classified as a maid of honor, not just a bridesmaid?
Basically, what are other responsibilities of a maid of honor that I could make sure my best friend could do to highlight her importance to me? Thanks!
Post # 3
I was a bridesmaid in a Catholic wedding over the summer, and the groom had two Best Men — his BIL and my Fiance. They both stood/kneeled at the altar next to the groom, and the bride had her (one) Maid/Matron of Honor.
As a non-Catholic I’m not sure if I should suggest this, but… it’s *your* wedding, and you should have whomever you want up there with you. I would explain this to the priest, and simply tell him that you’re having two. End of story. If there is no religious rule against it, what’s the problem?
I suppose there’s always a reading of some kind, but she won’t be up there as long. Designate her in the program. Give her a different dress/bouquet/jewelry. That’s all I can think of at the moment.
Post # 4
@Max04092010: Aw, I’m sorry you can’t have both of them up there :
In my (huge) church, the whole bridal party sits together on the lower sanctuary [on the altar]. I’m thinking it may be an issue of space…
Post # 5
This happened with me and my best friend’s sister as well. I sat with the rest of the BMs while her sister stood next to her, held her flowers, etc. I did get up a couple times to fix the dress since her sister had her hands full. At the reception, I was the one who gave the Maid/Matron of Honor speec, not her sister. It didn’t really bother me that I wasn’t up there, so this may be a nonissue with your other Maid/Matron of Honor. I was also designated as a Maid/Matron of Honor in the program. Everyone pretty much knew i was a Maid of Honor too, so there really wasnt’ a need to point it out.
Post # 6
@Vegas Pug: Thank you, I needed to hear this! I will talk about it with my Maid/Matron of Honor. And she will be designated in the program as the Maid/Matron of Honor too.
Post # 7
@Max04092010: The only thing that makes the maid of honor distinct from the other bridesmaids is that she acts as the official witness when you sign the marriage contract. There are only two witnesses required in addiction to the celebrant, as such its the celebrant, you and your fiance, the best man and the maid of honor.
Other than that, its just a title. I suppose other brides give them bigger roles than that, but that’s totally your thing.