(Closed) Catholic church = no bare shoulders?!

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It really depends on the church and the priest- You may be fine.  I actually thought this was not that common.

Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I grew up Catholic and most of my relatives got married in the Catholic church, and I think the majority had strapless dresses and didn’t have to cover up. You could ask him, though I agree 3:30am may not be the best time, haha.

Post # 5
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve been to quite a few Catholic weddind and I have Never seen a bride with covered shoulders.. but i know that some churches are very strict so call at a better hour than 3:30am ;o)

Post # 6
Member
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

Depends on the church. One neice had to have her shoulders covered, but one is getting married in November, and this church has no problem with strapless. Just ask.

Post # 7
Bee
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

Depends on your church and priest. If you’re wearing a long veil, that helps add the illusion of extra fabric around your strapless dress – but you might want to just check with them to make sure it’s ok, first. (And of course, if you DO have to wear a bolero or shawl, you can strip it off for the reception!)

Post # 8
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It would have to be a seriously old school church and pastor to mandate covered shoulders.

Thinking back, my first friend got married in 2001 and all of us (bride and bridesmaids) had strapless dresses on.  It wasn’t a big deal.

Post # 9
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I cant wear strapless and neither can my bridesmaids but the Deacon said he will allow spaghetti straps if we dont want to wear shawls (which makes no sense to me cause spaghetti straps still show a lot of shoulder, but whatever).  We are all having removable straps on our dresses.

Post # 10
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Aubergold: A DEACON made that declaration?  I’d want to hear it from a pastor.  It sounds a little power trippy for a deacon to be telling anyone what to do. 

 

Post # 11
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Jeannine @ Small Chic: lol.  It’s general church policy; it’s a very conservative church.   Alot of the older ladies even cover their heads for mass.  The Deacon merely ‘enforces’ the rules b/c he does all marriage preparations.

Post # 12
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Ms Watermelon: agree with everyone else that it depends on the church.  My church told me in a nutshell that strapless was fine but make sure there wasn’t a ton on cleavage on me or my bridesmaids to be all up in the priest’s face.  Well, maybe she didn’t say it exactly like that, but you get the idea.

I looked up your dress because I wasn’t familiar with the style, and the AA website says it comes with optional beaded straps.  So worse case scenario, you can wear the straps for your ceremony, and take them off at the reception so that you don’t have to look for a bolero.  That’s what my friend did with her straps below.

A couple of additional suggestions.  1) does your church have a wedding/sacrament coordinator?  That is usually the person that answers these sort of questions.  You may want to save your ‘phone a priest’ calls for more ceremony related questions.  2) When you call, ask “does the church has any specific guidelines on the ladies attire for the ceremony”  instead of “ah! I’m freaking out.  Can I please wear my strapless dress?”  Not that you would do the latter, but just in case.  🙂   IMO for the most part, they want your shoulders covered, but WANT and REQUIRE are two competely different things!  Again, I wore strapless for my full mass so I hope you can too!  Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It really depends on the church/priest. I have definitely been to weddings where the bride and/or bridesmaids wore strapless dresses.  Worst case, you could wear a bolero or shawl for the ceremony? good luck!

Post # 14
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It totally depends on how conservative your church is.  I don’t think it’s a super common thing… maybe years ago, but not now.  My church is more laid back so I would be able to wear strapless (I’m not, lol.. but I could!).  My bridesmaids might end up in strapless depending on which dresses they pick and it shouldn’t be a problem.  I’d just call your priest today or tomorrow and ask!  

And to find a silver lining… there are some BEAUTIFUL boleros out there if you wind up needing one!  And you would still get to enjoy your dream dress for the rest of the night… just not the hour of the actual ceremony =)

Post # 15
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I didn’t ask, so I wore a no shoulder dress. But then again, nobody told me any rules against it!

Post # 16
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

My uncle is a priest.  I asked him and his response was “As long as the dress is appropriate, not too low cut and not too revealing, then it should be okay.”  Just an FYI — He is in the Archdiocese of Boston.  This may not apply in more conservative areas. 

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