(Closed) Catholic Church says NO YOU CAN’T!?

posted 10 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
117 posts
Blushing bee

I have never heard of this.  I don’t see why this would not be allowed considering that a bridal party has nothing to do with religious practice or anything like that.  It’s a purely American tradition, not related to Catholicism, (as far as I know).

Post # 4
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m also Catholic, and I’ve never heard of this either. I know that certain churches are more lenient than others, and your friend might belong to a more conservative congregation.

If your friend really wants this gentleman to be a part of her day but the priest is adamant about not allowing it, maybe she could find another way to honor him in her wedding. If it’s important to her that he be a member of the wedding party, hopefully her FH would let her have the friend on his side. If not, maybe he could do a reading instead. 

Good luck!

Post # 5
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I don’t think the priest’s objection has anything to do with Catholicism whatsoever. There are no rules of wedding parties written down in the church handbook. You are not even required to have one, although you are required to have at least two witnesses. The only explanation I can think of is that the priest is trying to keep with the nomenclature of the parish/diocese marriage registration forms. Ours asked for the names of the "maid of honor" and the "best man," indicating that the roles are expected to be gender delineated. Maybe the priest is responding to that?

Otherwise, if he really isn’t going to budge (which, although he has no real ground to stand on, is his perogative as the priest) she might just have to have her friend stand on her fiance’s side.

Post # 6
2640 posts
Sugar bee

Never heard of this either.  Could you find another church?

Post # 7
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’ve never heard of this, and I was just IN a Catholic wedding with a bridesman.  It was the bride’s BFF, whome she’s known since they were both 3.

And yes, it was in the Church.  If there were any problems with it, we never knew it.  I wonder if this is a rule in your particular diocese?  Ours won’t let photos be taken inside the church (at all) and has some other wonky rules.  Maybe that’s where this is coming from??

Post # 9
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m Catholic, and I’m almost POSITIVE there’s no rule against that officially. However…inidividual churches make their own rules, individual priests have their own opinions, and really there’s no way around that other than to switch churches. It’s unfortunate, but when you’re getting married in a certain priest’s (or diocese’s) church, they get to make the rules.

Post # 10
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

My friend had a catholic wedding and he is male – they wouldnt allow me to be the bridesman either.

Post # 11
10 posts
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ugh. I hate those types of rules and regulations under any church. Thankfully I won’t have to go through that.No church wedding for me. 

That sucks that your friend won’t be able to be a bride’sman.  

Post # 12
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

lols correction on my comment – they wouldnt let me be the bestMAID. not the bridesman. haha, oops.

Post # 13
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Unfortunately the Catholic Church can persist in whatever rules they want.  You are choosing to be married there.  Unfortunately it seems that your church is a little less lenient than some others.  If you plan on having some sort of program for the church you can distinguish his role there.  Also, instead of having your ‘back’ he’ll be able to see you getting married from the groom’s side.  It’s not much help, since very little can be done but hopefully it’s a small consolation.

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