Post # 1
After much debate and drama over the issue I decided I would regret not be married Catholic. It costs an additional 1000.00 and is waaay more work, but I think its worth it. I am getting married out of state but the place I’m getting married at is providing a deacon to preform the ceremony. The only stipulation is that I need someone up here to do my pre-cana stuff and I can’t find a priest that will agree to do it! Is there some kind of rule that they have to? My parish priest will only do the classes with us if I get married up here. The other parish priest won’t return my calls and another priest I spoke with said he was unable to…what?? Any insight?
Post # 3
My parish does pre-marital counseling for parishioners getting married elsewhere. There is a fee involved, but their only requirement is you are getting married in another Cathoic church and you called at least 6 months from your wedding date.
Call the diocese and see what they suggest. Good luck!
Post # 4
Maybe that’s my problem. The place we are getting married is not only a Catholic Church. It’s a college campus church that holds every denominational type ceremony, but it would be a Catholic service. Should that matter?
Post # 5
Ahhh the wonderful red-tape of getting married in a Catholic church.
Not only was I baptized and confirmed in the church I was married in, my parents have been regular parishoners for 39 years and still attend regularly. Even with all this my husband (who actually attended Catholic school and was able to provide all of his babtismal/confirmation certificates etc.) and I still had to jump through hoops.
I would definitely call your local diocese as texasmeredith suggested. We had to call them on a couple of things and they were very helpful.
I would think that this college that performs other non-Catholic ceremonies would be more laid-back with their rules but I guess not.
You have time to do your research so don’t panic. Let us know how it goes and don’t forget to breathe.
Here’s a couple places to start:
Post # 6
The church shouldn’t be an issue, usually univ. churches that are shared (like military base chapels) have received the proper blessings and contain an “altar” and other important elements. So, that shouldn’t be an issue!
Can you talk to the deacon and see what he would require? For instance, you’ll need to take a FOCUS test and perhaps something like an Engaged encounter weekend. I know our weekend offered the test as well if you needed it!
Post # 7
For pre-cana I would look into engaged encounter. It was very convenient for us, and we absolutely loved it!
Post # 8
There’s no requirement that you have to do pre-cana with a priest one-on-one. Go to a couples pre-cana program like Engaged Encounter or Three to Get Married. They satisfy the pre-cana requirements just fine. My husband and I got married out of state too and we went to a Three to Get Married program near where we live (it was excellent, as well as convenient).
Post # 9
That’s so weird! It shouldn’t be a problem. Do you have to be a parishoner of the church where you are living in order to have pre-cana? Would it help to become one? You should be able to take pre-Cana in a different diocese. People get married out of their diocese all the time! Is it a small parish? Maybe the priest is just mistaken if he doesn’t do pre-Cana a lot. Could you talk to his secretary?
Ultimately, it just matters what the requirements of the diocese you are getting married in are. Maybe they can help you get in touch with someone in your area or an Engaged Encounter weekend.
I think you are right, you won’t regret getting married in the Catholic Church. And as everyone can attest, sometimes pre-Cana can be a headache, but our engaged weekend was one of the best things we’ve done as a couple!
Post # 10
Worst case scenario, call the diocese marriage office and explain that you need to do pre-cana for an out of state wedding, and your priest won’t do it because you’re not getting married in their church.
Post # 11
I would be really interested in doing an engaged encounter thing. It’s been so difficult working with my Parish priest! What do I need to do to make that happen? Is that something I just look up online or something?
Post # 12
Post # 13
talk to your decon and see what he’s requring…
i’m also getting married by a decon, in a town where i don’t live, and had to do the pre marriage stuff at a different church than where i’ll be married.
mine just said we had to do some sort of catholic marriage prep. we ended up doing it through our church (it was super low key, non stress-we just met with a married couple for a few hours), but we could’ve done an engaged encounter too.
if it’s causing trouble there’s also a chance the decon could put in a call to a church in your area for you to get the ball rolling…