Post # 1
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
I am a Catholic girl dating (and one day marrying) an amazing Agnostic boy. While I don’t consider myself strongly connected to my faith, I do still consider myself Catholic. Beyond that, my parents are extremely connected to the faith. Ever since they have found out that he is Agnostic, they have been very concerned. They feel that he may sway my life away from religion. I’ve tried to assure them that I haven’t changed my mind about religion. However, because of their strong faith, they don’t think it is possible to have a successful relationship with a person who doesn’t share a faith life with you.
In my opinion, there is no person that is better suited for me than my SO. We mesh on so many other levels. He supports me raising our future children in the church, and neither of us is trying to “convert” the other.
It’s become a very tense topic for me. My dad will forward an email (to me and my siblings) that is basically a campaign for religious beliefs. I feel like they are directing these towards me and trying to passive aggressively tell me that they don’t support my relationship and want me to find someone else. My SO and I are moving in together in the next few months, and my parents are really not happy with this decision.
I’m not sure how to approach this in the future. If my dad’s emails continue (and other passive aggressive acts of the like), I think I need to have a talk with my parents. That seems so strange to say, but they need to know that what they are doing hurts me and it isn’t going to change the fact that I am in love with this person. I want/need their support because these are the choices I am making for my life.
Sorry for the rant, but has anyone else gone through a similar situation with disapproving parents?
Post # 3
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
I am Catholic as well. J does not believe in God whatsoever. I do not go to Church anymore, but my belief and faith are still strong. My grandmother worries for me and J. She is not happy with the fact that he does not even believe. She does not push anything on us, but she will talk about it with me once in a while. I wish at least I could change his views on God, but I also know that he has to be willing to listen. He definitely is not willing whatsoever. I know it will not affect our relationship, but I do worry about him as well at times.
Post # 4
Member
11 posts
Newbee
I am Agnostic, and my SO’s family is Catholic. He is somehwat Catholic. He doesn’t go to church, but does have faith. His mom is well aware of my beliefs. However she is okay with that. She knows what my morals, and beliefs about life are. And she knows that I don’t do things to stray him away from God. She thinks that my good influence is something that is good for her son because of how he used to be.
I hope your parents can see that your SO is a good person, and not trying to corrupt you. Have a talk with them and let them know gently that their emails are hurting you. Either that, or just don’t open his religious emails.
As for needing their approval, you may or may not get it. My mother didn’t approve of my sister in law. She even didn’t go to my brother’s wedding. It wasn’t until they got pregnant that my mom reconciled with my brother’s decision. Give it time, but hopefully your parents will come around since they want you to be happy.
I hope my reply wasn’t super long. 🙁
Post # 5
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
My husband is Catholic, and I’m not agnostic I just don’t attend any service or subscribe to any religion. I think this worried his Mom (who is quite Catholic) for a while, but eventually she figured out that I’m not a bad person and I think has come to respect my views, even if she doesn’t agree with them. Plus, I had to sign a contract when we married in the Church stating that I’ll allow my children to be raised Catholic. I think that helped too 🙂
Post # 6
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
I’m not really worried about them shunning me. In fact, when I was talking to my parents about me moving in with my Boyfriend or Best Friend they said that they love me and would never shun me, but they also would never be ok with me cohabitating before marriage.
That is something that I can live with. What I don’t want is for them to dislike my SO. I hope they can come around and realize that he is a good person.
Post # 7
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
It’s good to know that there are others in a similar relationship as us though. While I don’t consider religion a large part of who either of us is, it appears that that may be one of our largest battles.
