Post # 1
Hi, guys! So, this is somewhat complicated. I am the protestant friend of a roman catholic bride and her byzantine catholic groom. Bride and Groom are not exactly wealthy so they are planning a wedding on a shoestring budget and they have less than a month to plan it. They plan on inviting around 200 guests to top it off. The bride is a college student and a part-time worker at a stamp factory. Her goal in life is to counsel and serve less fortunate people. The groom is a physicist working on his doctorate. Both of them have loads of catholic, protestant, and unbelieving friends that they have showered with love, including me. Their faith is also a big part of their daily lives. They have already planned it as a brunch/potluck wedding with the ladies of his church helping out quite a bit. Bride and groom wanted to give pictures of Icons (saints) as a wedding favor but they could only find cheap laminated versions. They felt that if they gave pictures of the icons that they wanted to do something a bit nicer, like a picture of an icon printed on wood. The bride and groom are having their ceremony at the groom’s byzantine church, which means that there will be a crowning as part of the nuptial mass. The church does not possess a set of crowns so my friends wanted to buy some simple but well-made crowns and donate them to their church so that other couples will be able to use them.
Having said all that, is there a place where we could potentially get pictures of icons printed onto wooden placards? What about other faith-themed wedding favors if we cannot do that? Also, are there any byzantine Catholics on this board that have suggestions about where to get crowns on such a short notice? The wedding date for my friends is 6-17-2017. I don’t think my friend is having attendants for her wedding but I’m helping with some of the planning since it’s on a really short timeline.
Post # 2
If I were you I would counsel them not to waste their money on favors, especially when they are having a potluck wedding.
Is there another church nearby that might have crowns you could borrow?
You might try posting here:
Post # 3
I don’t think there are many byzantine churches in our area, so no. Bride was pretty adamant about trying to buy the crowns for their church and I think that it’s beautiful that they want to do this for their church. Pretty much the trend in the area is for people to buy and keep their crowns but the bride wants to bless less fortunate couples. They are not poor but they are not wealthy either. Bride explained that she isn’t doing flowers so she can afford to splurge a bit on the crowns. She’s not planning on buying elaborate crowns, just simply designed ones that last.
As for the favors, we will try and troubleshoot the favor issue by this weekend but if we cannot find a solution then I will try and counsel her to forgo favors altogether because her stress level is sky-high.
Post # 4
I’m sorry but I don’t see the need to give pictures of icons to guests of all faiths, including non-believers. I agree that guest hosting is of greater importance.
Post # 5
skip the favors, especially as there’s is a large mixture of faiths/faithless attending. If everyone isn’t catholic, then it’s weird to take an icon as a favor. I grew up catholic but I’m an atheist and so I wouldn’t take the favor as I would just trash it and that seems rude since it has religious connotations. Just a waste of money if a favor doesn’t have mass appeal.
Post # 6
Post # 7
It doesn’t sound like the majority of the guests would appreciate a picture of a saint. They’d either not be taken or thrown in the trash. Either figure out a better favor or skip them altogether.
Post # 8
I’ve gotta agree with others here that the favors are a bad idea. I wouldn’t take one, and would feel that the couple completely wasted their money. I’d also be a little offended. I mean, would they gladly accept a statue of Ganesh? Or a copy of the Koran? I’d happily attend their wedding but would feel they’re being a bit preachy with the favors. Please convince them to do something else or nothing at all?
Post # 9
As a committed (Protestant) Christian, who attends Catholic church from time to time, I would still find it weird to have an icon as a favour and wouldn’t know what to do with it. I think that with such a mix of religions it’s better to forgo them.
Post # 10
I would get the laminate cards, but get the ones that have a prayer on them. Then I would hole punch them and slide a pretty ribbon through so they can be used as a bookmark. I like these cards because they are sturdy, can be easily carried and looked at when needed.
Post # 11
I think this is such a waste of money. I really cannot wrap my head around paying for religious favours to give to non religious and guests of different faiths while skipping food and asking guests to bring their own.
Post # 12
Are they trying to convert their guests with the favors? My sister became extremely religious five years ago and she truly, 100 percent believes that she is saving people by converting them to her religion. All the other religions have it wrong, only hers is right.
Dealing with her thoughts obviously taint my thoughts on this post, but I’m wondering if that’s why they were planning on those favors.
I agree with pp, skip the favors.
Post # 13
I would love getting a copy of the Quran or a statute of Ganesh, or anything representing a couple’s faith tradition. I would put it up somwhere and appreciate it as a piece of art or literature, or something with historical or cultural signifigance, and of course a reminder of who my friends are as a couple and my relationship with them . I have a beautifully illustrated copy of the Quran in my home now – hint, I am not Muslim. I think only narrow people would really be offended by such a gift.
I agree with PPs that there should maybe be other priorities in this situation. The crowns are an important part of the marriage ritual and I woud concentrate on securing those – even before feeding guests.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2015 - Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception / Courtyard Marriott Legacy Ballroom
I agree with PP to skip the favors if they are trying to be frugal. At my Catholic wedding, we had a basket of prayer cards that people could take if they wanted – we had a good amount left over after the wedding. If they really want spend money on these icons, though, I’ve always like the ones from here: https://www.monasteryicons.com/ There are pocket icons available on this site under the ‘Icon Gifts’ section. These aren’t wood, but I think they look really nice.
Edited to add the link to the website where we bought our prayer cards in case that’s of interest to your friends: http://www.personalizedholycards.com/Wedding-Anniversary-c16/
Post # 15
Just some arguments for forgoing favors:
As a person who was raised Catholic, I stopped taking funeral prayer cards back in like 2005 after the third time I cleaned out an older relative’s house and found huge stacks of them they’d collected over the years, never looked at again but felt too guilty to throw out. It will just take up space in people’s house if you make wood ones. Out of 200 maybe a dozen will actually cherish it and that’s high.
As a non practicing person, I’d probably internally roll my eyes, smile politely and say no thank you to someone offering me an icon. I’d obviously never mention it to the bride and groom, because I know it’s important to them. However, the ceremony is about the couple, the reception and the favors are a thank you are for the guests. Non practicing and non believing people are likely making an effort to attend and be respectful of the church, don’t give them something they will then to home and continue to be respectful of.