(Closed) Catholic vs. Non-denominational ceremony HELP!

posted 6 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

FI’s family is Catholic, I am not (atheist). We’re having a secular ceremony outdoors with the only somewhat religious component being a reading of the Corinthians and a lighting of a unity candle. There was LOTS of struggle and lots of tears. Future Mother-In-Law struggled the most with our decision but in the end I think she got that this was not a battle she was going to win. 

The ceremony is the most meaningful part of the day. It needs to resonate with both of you and it should be something you’re both happy with. His father will eventually get over it, just like my Future Mother-In-Law has. Do what feels best for both of you!!

Post # 4
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If your Future Father-In-Law is a practicing Catholic, I doubt trying to incorporate Catholic elements into the ceremony will be enough.  For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament and it’s sort of a package-deal– you need the church, the priest, the right parts?  You could have a small mass a week before the other ceremony with just his family? You’d need to meet with a priest and set up pre-marital meetings and whatnot beforehand. 

If that’s not doable, you could read some scripture on your day to bring in the Bible, but it’s not a sacrament.

Post # 5
Member
875 posts
Busy bee

I’m interpreting the concept of “non-denominational” as something similar to a local Christian camp that is not a single denomination, but rather is a general Christian campground program lead and serving children from a wide variety of faith backgrounds.  I think your free Methodist family are probably more familiar with this concept than his family.  My suggestion is that you have two ministers lead the ceremony.  At my dear friends wedding, the groom’s Catholic priest came to her wedding and I believe that it was a Catholic recognized ceremony.  (I don’t understand the rules on this, but the priest and my pastor worked together.  If you aren’t comfortable with having your family pastor work with his priest, I would look for another pastor that you are comfortable.  (I mention that because I’m aware that some protestant groups are not willing to work with a Catholic priest, and while some priests may be more reluctant than others to work in this manner it is possible.)  You don’t want them to feel that you are simply copying their ceremony, but rather including his family history and faith within your new marriage. 

Post # 6
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Missbliss:  In terms of the Cathecism of the Catholic Church, a sacramental marriage has to take place in the church. 

Some people choose to ignore this and have ceremonies elsewhere, and apply for a dispensation to have the marriage approved by the church.  (Without this approved, anyone who marries outside the church is technically living in sin and shouldn’t take communion.) 

Everybody has a different viewpoint on it. OP, if you’re comfortable with not being married in the church then go for it– but if your spouse wants to receive communion and participate fully in the Catholic Church, it’s worth talking to a priest.

Post # 7
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Just wanted to add that in a Catholic wedding, you promise to raise your children Catholic. I think this a pretty heavy thing to consider. If you think you are okay with making this promise, but want to keep your wedding day as planned, you could go to church after the wedding for convalidation (please note you will have to do Pre-Cana still).

Post # 8
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@bookworm88:  What she said is right.

If Future Father-In-Law finds it very important to get married in the church I doubt incorporating aspects will appease him.

I’m Cathoilic Fiance is not. We are not getting married in the church. I’ve decided to wait to see if there comes a time in his life where he wants to convert & then get married in the church. If it doesn’t happen that’s ok…we all have different faith paths.

Post # 9
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@MrsElopement:  That sounds like a difficult decision– I’m converting to Catholicism now and Fiance is Catholic, but I already don’t think I’d be comfortable getting married outside of the church, even if Fiance wasn’t Catholic? (That’s just my personal opinion though, definitely don’t mean to judge your choice!)  Are you doing pre-cana and getting a dispensation, or are you just going to wait and convalidate later?

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