(Closed) Catholic Wedding Advice!

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

These are things that they will go over with you during your rehearsal.  Believe me, I didn’t know what to do at all but the wedding coordinator at our church went over everything with us that day.

Post # 5
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@AngelS: You are very welcome.  If your coordinator is anything like mine was, you will walk out of there feeling like a pro! lol…  She made us do it over and over until we all got it right.

Post # 6
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

If you need guidance during regular church services all the sayings everyone has memorized are in the very front of the books they have set out in the pews.  I didn’t know that until after I had been attending with fiance for months, and it really helped a lot!

Post # 7
730 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve been to Catholic weddings with not very many Catholic guests, and the priests are always very helpful about assisting everyone with the responses… like they’ll say “please respond with ______” before they say something. 

If you’re worried about it, get the wedding coordinator to help you make programs that contain all of the responses and instructions like “Please kneel.” You can even have one with you during the ceremony if you want!

Post # 8
133 posts
Blushing bee

@AngelS: Most churches have little book (as mentioned by a pp) that explains the parts of the Mass in the front, and you can read along during the Mass.  That’s the best way to learn.  If your church doesn’t have them, you can search on Amazon for “Roman Catholic Sunday Missal” and can bring it with you to church.  They cost like $10, and if you ask a priest they’ll sometimes just give you one (that’s the sort of thing they buy to give away with the “tip” money you give them for the wedding).

You can also find an explanation here:  http://www.ourcatholicfaith.org/mass/mass.html which lists all of the things that people say.

As far as “Stand, Sit, Kneel Stand” – just do what everyone else does for now.  Eventually you’ll pick it up. 

Post # 9
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

are you getting married in a predominantly Spanish or English-speaking church? If it’s by yaknow… Father Smith, he may not be familiar with some of the Spanish customs you’ve mentioned. My family is Spanish but our church is very… white. lol!!! I’d love to do the lasso (which btw is usually placed when/after you read your vows), but I haven’t mentioned it yet since we’re not at that point.

Post # 10
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We essentially had the entire mass in our programs so our guests knew the responses, when to sit, stand, or kneel. We also had explanations of what was happening. It was a long program but we made them ourselves so the cost was low. We had a lot of non-Catholic guests and wanted them to be comfortable. 

The more you attend mass the more you’ll learn.

The coins/lasso/etc are non-american wedding customs. (I know hispanics and Philippinos do them, not sure who else). Your coordinator at the church can help with that. 

Is your Fiance Catholic?

Post # 11
23 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m surprised being in Kennewick that you don’t have access to a spanish-speaking priest.  We are having a bilingual mass but it will be odd because very few of the english-speaking guests are Catholic, so I think we will have most of the “mass” parts in Spanish to avoid the silence problem that you mention.  Another thing we plan on doing is hiring a small choir to make sure that there is audible singing, although that is obviously an expense that not every one can afford–I would still talk to the church about it because they might be able to work with you. I know that if we were getting married at our parish church instead of the Cathedral we could have gotten several musicians for a reasonable fee.

With respect to how the wedding flows, the cultural traditions typically happen at the end of the ceremony.  If I remember correctly, the order is usually ramo, arras and then lazo.

As for making sure people know what is going on, a program is key.  Our program will have the portions of the wedding and mass that are done in English translated into Spanish and vice versa.  We are also required to print the sung responses in the program to encouarge participation on that front.  Doing a detailed program is a lot of work, but I think it will be worth it so that all our guests are comfortable and know what is happening.

Good luck!

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