- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I have cold feet, I’ve just realized this. I’ve been such a bee-otch to Fiance lately about our Catholic wedding. I’m not Catholic and I’ve been feeling so frustrated with the whole process and I finally just blew up about it and really hurt his feelings. I think alot of it has to do with cold feet.
I don’t understand why I feel this way. I know he’s the one for me. We laugh together, enjoy each other’s company, and truly love one another. I’m excited to be his wife, but I’m so scared about the actual wedding! I don’t understand why I have a huge knot in my stomach about the actual ceremony. We live together and live as though we are married and I’m confident we’ll be happy together. But I’m so nervous about the wedding!
The planning has been stressful with alot of family drama and we’ve clashed over our expectations of what a wedding should be like. But we’ve resolved most of that and are getting closer to being on the same page.
Right now, the big issue is the Catholic wedding. I want to understand the Catholic faith (I was not raised in any religion and identify myself as Christian-spiritual, not religious, I do believe in God but do not identify with a particular faith tradition such as Lutheran or Catholic). But I don’t feel as though anyone, the priest, my fiance, the Foundations of Marriage course leaders/presenters, etc., has really taken the time to answer my questions and explain things to me, which is causing me to feel very much like an outsider. I want to please my fiance but I don’t want to be disrespected and feel like an outsider on our wedding day.
I want our wedding ceremony to reflect both of us and who we are and our love. But right now, it only reflects FI’s religious beliefs. I honestly feel as though another woman could put on my dress and walk down the aisle and it wouldn’t matter whatsoever! And that doesn’t make me very happy. I want our wedding ceremony to be special and wonderful and beautiful and memorable and AMAZING. But I don’t feel like it will be because I don’t understand the Catholic church nor do I feel as though I have a good understanding of the sacrament of marriage.
I told Fiance we needed to go to RCIA classes together to learn more about his faith (he doesn’t answer my questions, usually because he doesn’t know the answers). I’m hoping this will help me with my feelings of cold feet and my feelings of discontent with the church. I want to understand the church’s teachings and understand the process because right now, there are so many questions being asked that I feel are REALLY personal and no one can tell me why they need to have these answers. It’s just all very very very confusing and upsetting to me.
Has anyone else had cold feet? How did you handle those feelings? Does anyone have any experience with RCIA classes? I’ve been researching it and have set up an appointment to talk with a Sister about them. From what I understand, there’s an inquiry period where you ask all the questions you want about whatever you want, with no obligation of converting. I think that’s what I’m looking for because I know Fiance wants to raise our future children Catholic and I need to be comfortable with that and at the very least, understand the process and the beliefs, even if it isn’t what I discover I truly believe.