(Closed) Catholic wedding/vow renewal

• honey421
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2017

Hello everyone!

My fiancé and I are facing a dilemma, we wanted to be married by my grandfather in a beautiful outdoor setting under an oak tree. Since we are both Catholic though we needed to talk with our priest about how to go about this resulting in a valid marriage! After speaking with him we have come upon two options:

first, since we live in North Carolina, and all of our friends and family live in Florida, we would have a small Catholic wedding up here with my parents as witness. We would then go down to Florida three days later to have a “celebration” at our preferred venue. It would pretty much just be a vow renewal that my grandfather would oversee. We would dress up for this occasion since we would be celebrating our wedding there (Wedding dress, flowers, walking down the aisle). It would be all the makings of a wedding, accept it wouldn’t be a wedding. it would be a celebration of our wedding.

Second, we would just go to Florida and have a Catholic wedding with all of our friends and family at a small Catholic Church. My grandfather of course wouldnt marry us, as we would be having a Catholic ceremony, followed by the reception at the venue.

The second option would be the more traditional option, but the first option is more appealing for these reasons: My fiancé and I love our priest in North Carolina. We have talked to him about our situation and he gave us these options. It would be so magical to have him marry us and quite personally, I would like the small wedding with just a few witnesses. It would feel more personal. Also, it would mean a great deal to include my grandfather in the process somehow. I originally wanted him to marry us completely (no Catholic ceremony) but in order to keep things legitimate, we would have to have the Catholic wedding. And finally the venue that this vowel renewal would happen at, is my dream venue! It is incredibly beautiful, lots of trees and flowers. It is where I would want the ceremony to take place in the end.

So here are my questions: which of the two options would you choose? And if we do the first option, what could we do as far as having this “ceremony”? It wouldn’t be a wedding so to say, but it would be a celebration of our marriage. our priest said we could basically do anything that we wanted there, we just couldn’t get married at the end. I want to walk down the aisle still with my dress and flowers and our wedding party would still have the processional. We might have a reading or two, and on top of our Catholic vows, my fiancé and I want to read our own vows, or “promises” to each other. With all of this involved, what else could be do to make it feel as much like a wedding (for our guests) and what could we call it?

thank you! Sorry if this is confusing for anyone.. 

• This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  honey421.
• This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  honey421.
• This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by  honey421.

• honey421
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2017

beethree:  thank you for the edit recomendation. I was at work and wrote that in a hurry over lunch.

as far as having my grandfather speak at the wedding, he probably wouldn’t be so into that. He is not too keen on the catholic faith. We would simply have him marry us as my grandfather with some Godly elements here and there. It is just a personal preference to have him marry us.

• honey421
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2017

almostaudrey:  we talked to my priest about that option! Personally that’s my favorite option. I would love for the ceremony with my grandfather to be the first and only marriage we recognize. However my priest told us that doing that would be grtting close to dangerous territory. 

We would basically be living in sin for the first bit of our marriage and it wouldn’t even be considered legit until in was convalidted. I wanted to get married then have it convalidatd the next day, but planning something like that in advance is stretching it pretty far.. 

There would probably not be a priest willing to help us with that unless it had been a few months or even a few years.. It’s really complicated.. 

• honey421
• 4 years ago

• Wedding: April 2017

almostaudrey:  Yeah it’s pretty crazy.. There might be some priests out there who will do a quick convalidation, but my priest explained that a convalidation is basically what the church does for couples who didn’t marry under church law. So they don’t see their civil marriage as legitimate.. For us to plan a non legitimate marriage is fine, they can’t really stop us. But convalidations are not meant to give couples a loop hole so that they can have the wedding of their dreams, they are meant to make a marriage valid (kinda terrible sounding). My priest even told us that it’s pretty mean of the church, but he highly recommended not going with that option..