Post # 1
My fiance and I are both Catholic and have gotten the offical “ok” to get married in the Church. We are soon to set our date, hopefully June 30th, 2012.
However, we have hit a major bump in the road. If we are not legally married before March, he will lose out on benefits through my work, as they are phasing out tution reimbursement for spouses. As an eductor he is constantly having to take classes, and a PHD that my work pays for will be $60,000 NOT out of our pockets.
Does anyone know the Church’s ruling on this today? I’ve heard of Catholics getting legally married beforehand, and still getting married in the church. But the Catholic forums make it sound like this can’t be done.
We would make it without a ring exchange and as low key as possible.
Post # 3
@gidgetglam: My husband and I faced something similar. We’re legally married now and having our church ceremony in Aug, 2012. Our pastor calls it a convalidation ceremony and we are still responsbile for pre-Cana classes. Our ceremony will end up being as fancy of a “wedding” as we want it to be or not. I’ve also read the Catholic boards and some bees are getting not so nice responses from their parrish, so I suggest you check with yours since it is about a six month prior type of requirement to fullfill.
Post # 4
I think it would not be an official matrimony ceremony but rather treated as a renewal of vows. The priest might say something like “John and Mary now pledge their love and committment to one another before their friends and family,” but he wouldn’t say “you are now joined in holy matrimony”–my cousin did this and it was basically just like a wedding.
Post # 5
Check with your pastor about the convalidation. I think I saw somewhere, but not sure, that you will have to swear that you didn’t enter into the marriage you want them to validate for convenience/practical reasons.
Post # 6
I’m pretty sure you can have your legal marriage blessed in the catholic chruch, every parish is different – i would highly suggest talking to your priest and see what he has to say.. There was a bee on here recently that did this! check out this thread
Just had our wedding marriage blessed!
Post # 7
You can do it, but your church wedding would be a convalidation ceremony rather than a marriage ceremony. You can make it as much like a big wedding as you want, but the liturgy is a bit different. You’d still do all the same marriage prep classes, etc.
Post # 8
Not sure if this reply is a bit late or not but my fiance and I had to do something similar for legal reasons. We are legally married and advised our priest of this in preparation – he basically said that is all very well but in the eyes of the church you are not married so although on our wedding day we will not have to sign a marriage certificate everything else will be as though we are getting married for the first time – which is what it is for us – the civil wedding is just a piece of paper – we didn’t excahnge rings or anything either – just wnt straight back to work afterwards!
ETA – there may be different practices n different parishes though.