(Closed) Catholic wedding not at home parish

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@enginerd:  In my area I had to provide a letter from my home parish to the church I wanted to be married at in order for it to happen. I don’t really have a home parish, so I was able to find a church that was willing to marry me without (and I suppose that has now defaulted to my home parish). Good luck! They can be picky about these things.

Post # 4
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We are having our wedding at the parish FI’s parents were wed which is not our home parish. The church did not require we provide our own priest, but we wanted someone we knew and knew us to say our wedding. So asked our home priest and he was elated. Unfortunately he rescenly got appointed to a high position in his order and will be in Brazil the weekend of our wedding, but luckily the other priest at our parish was available and is equally as awesome.

I would advise you meet with the pastor of the church you are looking to get married at. Explain your situation. I would hope being a priest and all he would be understanding and preside at your ceremony. Good luck!

Post # 5
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@enginerd:  My Fiance and I are getting married at his home church that he attended when he was growing up. His parents were very active parishoners at one point or another, we had his dad speak to the priest there who remembered him. All the church wanted was proof that we took a pre-cana or premarital course which we had the non-denomination Christian church we did it send a letter of completion to his church. They are a church that is located near a state university so the parish is a little more liberal. They didn’t care that we lived together or if we had our own priest. You could always get a deacon to marry you at the church you are looking at. Granted you can’t have a wedding mass but you could still have a wedding ceremony. My Fiance and I are having a wedding mass with one of his uncles who is a deacon marrying us but with a priest presiding since it is a mass. I think it really depends on the parish and the archdiocese what their rules are regarding wedding masses, whether or not you have to bring in your officiant, etc. I would talk to the pastor at your current church and also speak to the priest at the church you are considered getting married at. Good luck and hope things will work out! 🙂 

Post # 6
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m getting married outside of my home parish.. In fact, I’ve never quite celebrated Mass at my home parish.. we just followed my family’s favourite priest all over the country, LOL. As said earlier, you need to get a letter from your home parish (in my case – thats the parish that has the jurisdiction for where I live) to take to the church that you wish to get married in. Should be simple, I visited my ‘home parish’ priest a couple months ago and he said to come back this month to get my letter.

Post # 7
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That makes a lot of sense that he doesn’t want to do a wedding at a parish that isn’t his own, and that a priest at a random church doesn’t want to spend time doing a wedding of someone he doesn’t know and will never see again. It’s not that they’re being uncharitable (as implied by a PP!) It’s that they’re HUMAN too and actually have to set limits and boundaries on the things they have time to do. Every priest I have ever known (and I have known a lot; I have worked for different churches in some capacity for the past 8 years,) have been EXTREMELY busy. If they said “yes” to every single request that people made of them, they would literally not even have time to sleep. Give them a break.

If marrying in a Cathlolic Church is important to you, then you have to realize that you can’t just treat it like another one of your vendors where you pay them and they do whatever you want. There are even theological reasons why it is significant to marry in your “home parish” instead of just a random church building. Maybe you could have the ceremony at your home parish, but then have the reception in a more central location (I don’t know if you’re talking minutes, hours, or days away in terms of driving,) so that the elderly relatives don’t have to come to the ceremony? Or else try calling other churches in that same area. I think you will find it is standard that they require you to bring your own priest, BUT, sometimes especially for poorer (but gorgeous) old churches in urban (run-down) areas, you might find them to be more flexible.

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