- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
Hello everyone! I’m a bit of a Newbee around here and I’m glad I found a board just for my questions! I know this information is available elsewhere but short of calling up churches/priests, I can’t find answers to some of these.
Background: FH and I were both raised Catholic but now do not go to church on a regular basis. We are spiritual people but not very religious. We attend Christmas Mass and that’s about it, and even there more out of tradition than out of religion. Both sets of parents go to mass on a semi-regular basis. His parents don’t really mind whether we have a Catholic wedding or not, but my parents, although they are not pressuring us to do so, would prefer us to.
I found what seems to be a compromise: http://www.catholicswithoutachurch.org/. My mom, however, is not entirely convinced that using this service would count as a “real” Catholic wedding. The fact that we can have the ceremony outside of a church is a big sticking point with her, however, this organization would be my first choice in officiants. Has anyone heard of anything similar, and can you give me your 2 cents on this?
We aren’t ruling out getting married in a church but I have a few questions:
Neither of us went through confirmation. Will this be a problem?
I’ve heard some churches are stricter than others. Example, one church I looked into said that you need to have been part of their community for a while before being considered. I’ve also heard others say that cohabitation is not permitted (something we are doing now and not really willing to give up). I understand that this would depend on each church but can you give me other policies/restrictions I can expect?
To my understanding, a full mass is optional. What is the other option? I’ve also heard of just asking for a blessing. Does anyone know anything about those?
Is there some kind of option for a bit of personalization? We have traditions in Filipino (me) and Hispanic (FH) Catholic weddings that might not occur in traditional American Catholic wedding mass that we would like to incorporate if possible.
What kind of fees can I expect if we have a ceremony at a church?
Sorry for all the questions! I really appreciate any information you can share!