(Closed) Catholic/Jewish wedding- please help!!

posted 7 years ago in Interfaith
Post # 3
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@jbird: I’m pretty sure he’s wrong and you’re right. I would talk to a priest/diocese office. You can have a Catholic wedding outside (I’ve been to one), and no, the priest would not be the one to marry you if you have a Dispensation from Canonical Form.

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t know the official answer but maybe the deacon knows that your bishop won’t grant the request to let you get married outside? Can you ask your uncle about the rules? I feel like he should know.

Post # 6
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m Catholic and what I’ve always been told is that it is not possible to get married anywhere (outdoors OR alternate venue) but in a church without a special dispensation from your bishop.

Post # 7
Member
1025 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@jbird: They’ll know more than the Deacon since they are the ones that deal with these kinds of questions!

Post # 9
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m Catholic and the Rabbi who co-officiated was the best.(And cute…) I am just writing now because he just started a Facebook page, but his email is [email protected]. Cant hurt to write him? Good luck!

Mona

Post # 10
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

The deacon is wrong on all accounts.  If you receive a Dispensation from the Canonical Form of Marriage, you can be married quite literally anywhere.  Inside, outside, on a boat, at a beach – it doesn’t matter.  And this doesn’t change if you are in New Jersey – it is the same anywhere in the world as the canons do not change.

Also, a priest cannot preside over a wedding outside of a church.  A priest (or representative) might be required to witness the wedding outside of a church but he cannot perform the wedding.  Also, a priest cannot co-officiate with another religious leader.  That would invalidate the wedding.

 

 

Post # 11
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

One thing my friend was, was have an outdoor ceremony (destination) and then she came back and had a very small private Catholic ceremony.   She was still considered married in the Catholic church, which pleased her grandmother, but got the wedding she wanted.

Post # 12
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I am Catholic and my fiance is Jewish… we are having a Deacon and a Rabbi, and are getting married in a non-denominational chapel.

I think that the only dispensation we are getting is the one that makes it ok for me to marry a non-baptized person.  We aren’t getting a Dispensation from Canonical form. So the Deacon will do the vows and it will for all intents and purposes be a Catholic wedding outside Mass (and not a sacrament). My question is whether or not the Deacon is going to let our Rabbi do the ring ceremony part!!  (we are meeting with our Deacon this Saturday, so hopefully that question will get answered…)

If you get the canonical form dispensation, which I think is harder to get… then it is “approved” to take place, and like, anything goes!  so it is not performed by the priest/deacon.  that one I think would mean you could have it outside, and then the Deacon would be “offering a blessing/being a reader” only at the ceremony, or wouldn’t actually have to be there at all.

Post # 13
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2011

From what I understand, each Archdiocese may have a different view on outdoor wedding ceremonies. My husband is a rabbi and we have performed many Roman Catholic co-officiated ceremonies outdoors in San Francisco Archdiocese. But when we go to Sonoma they are more conservative, and i am told it is much harder to get permission for outdoor ceremonies.

Also, I have had priests tell me that it is harder to get permission to get married outside the church in an outdoor wedding than indoors. For Jewish weddings, it is preferred to be outdoors. 

If I were you, I’d call the Archdiocese in your area and speak with someone in authority there.

Yehudit Steinberg – Jewish Interfaith Wedding Network

Post # 14
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@yehuditsc:  I think it’s VERY important that people are not fed false information.  Brides want certain things.  When someone tells them what they want to hear (even if that person is wrong), brides tend to believe it as the truth because they want to believe it to be true.  This then causes all sorts of problems when the church tells the bride otherwise – she believes that it’s the priest that’s being problematic, when in fact the priest’s hands are tied.

To make this as clear as possible: The Code of Canon Law are the highest laws in Catholicism relating to the operating of the Church.  It’s the Constituion of Catholicism, if you will.  Canons cannot be violated by anyone, including the pope, without a majority vote of the College of Cardinals.  Since it’s very unlikely the College of Cardinals will vote for one wedding, it’s very likely that the Canons are in effect for your wedding.   Canons are universal, meaning that they are the same for everyone in the world, regardless of city, country, language, or county in California.  You can see all Canons in English here:  http://www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM

The Canons related to weddings are clear a priest or deacon cannot conduct a Mass or a Rite (which a marriage is) outside of a church building, and a priest cannot co-officiate a marriage with a non-Catholic minister.  Doing so would be a grave offense and make the marriage invalid.

 

 

 

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