(Closed) Caught him, not sure what to do next

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 200
Member
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO – indisbelief:  Thanks for the UPDATE in post # 194

Happy to hear that you have found a Therapist… and that your Hubby has agreed to go as well (this is at least a show of him being interested in fixing / changing the situation / relationship).  As

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bearlove:  said, even if you guys end up splitting the therapy will be good for you as you work thru your side of this issue, and how you feel about it, deal with it, live with it… and go forward in your life.

I wish you a world of calm reflection… as it will help you to continue to “keep your head and your heart” seperate so that you can honestly find a solution that “works for you… and your NEEDS”

(( HUGS ))

 

Post # 201
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@indisbelief:  BIG hugs to you.  Stay positive and let things happen the way they should. 

Post # 202
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Being willing to work on your relationship shows that you have an amazing amount of commitment. To be honest, for him to be carrying on an emotional affair and relationship with another woman for two years…well, you obviously deserve someone better than him, to be even willing to consider the possiblity of forgiving him and the possibility of salvaging your marriage is extraordinary and shows that you are not a woman to make decisions lightly. I discovered incriminating messages on my ex-fiances computer, he was making plans to meet up with another woman. I broke it off immediately and never looked back, its the best decision I ever made. He cried and begged but I knew I could never trust him again, and without trust I couldnt love him or invest in our relationship. It was humiliating to tell my family, who loved him and already considered him part of the family, but I have never doubted that I deserve a man who is 100% in love and devoted to me. I have that now with my husband, I trust him 1 million times more than my ex and it feels incredible. Only you know your relationship, but you are an amazing, strong woman who deserves a man of character who fills you with love, not doubts. I hope whatever decision you make, you find happiness.

Post # 203
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

You’re still in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and I really hope the therapy works out well for you, no matter the end result.

I would feel a lot of resentment too, and it is very hard to forgive and to erase the things you saw with your own eyes. But if you truly love him, then you will find a way. I hope he’s worthy of you.

Post # 205
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@indisbelief:  I am so glad to hear you seem to be moving along well with therapy. I’m sure it will take quite some time to work through everything. I think it’s also great that your life is going well outside of all this – it’s important knowing that you yourself are happy and independent when coming to a decision about your relationship. I wish you the best and keep us updated.

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