Post # 200
TO – indisbelief: Thanks for the UPDATE in post # 194
Happy to hear that you have found a Therapist… and that your Hubby has agreed to go as well (this is at least a show of him being interested in fixing / changing the situation / relationship). As bearlove:
said, even if you guys end up splitting the therapy will be good for you as you work thru your side of this issue, and how you feel about it, deal with it, live with it… and go forward in your life.
I wish you a world of calm reflection… as it will help you to continue to “keep your head and your heart” seperate so that you can honestly find a solution that “works for you… and your NEEDS”
(( HUGS ))
Post # 201
@indisbelief: BIG hugs to you. Stay positive and let things happen the way they should.
Post # 202
Being willing to work on your relationship shows that you have an amazing amount of commitment. To be honest, for him to be carrying on an emotional affair and relationship with another woman for two years…well, you obviously deserve someone better than him, to be even willing to consider the possiblity of forgiving him and the possibility of salvaging your marriage is extraordinary and shows that you are not a woman to make decisions lightly. I discovered incriminating messages on my ex-fiances computer, he was making plans to meet up with another woman. I broke it off immediately and never looked back, its the best decision I ever made. He cried and begged but I knew I could never trust him again, and without trust I couldnt love him or invest in our relationship. It was humiliating to tell my family, who loved him and already considered him part of the family, but I have never doubted that I deserve a man who is 100% in love and devoted to me. I have that now with my husband, I trust him 1 million times more than my ex and it feels incredible. Only you know your relationship, but you are an amazing, strong woman who deserves a man of character who fills you with love, not doubts. I hope whatever decision you make, you find happiness.
Post # 203
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
You’re still in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong and I really hope the therapy works out well for you, no matter the end result.
I would feel a lot of resentment too, and it is very hard to forgive and to erase the things you saw with your own eyes. But if you truly love him, then you will find a way. I hope he’s worthy of you.
Post # 204
Just a quick update. Therapy is on-going. We had our most difficult session this week after I had a pretty bad couple of weeks emotionally. It’s up and down honestly. I feel like all this dirty laundry is being aired. So in some ways I guess it’s a good thing. The therapist mentioned that it will feel like it’s getting worse before it gets better and that’s exactly where I am. I have a heightened sense of things I knew about him before (he’s insecure in a lot of ways for example) and how that has affected his decisions and behavior. Still, it’s not easy. Some days I feel he might be entitled to a pass all things considered and others I feel like it’s not my problem he has issues. I don’t want to be fixing him for the rest of my life.
I originally gave myself until this weekend to make a decision. I feel that there are things still coming out so I am unable to do that at this time.
I do want to say that although this is going on at home my life is good. I am not living in misery, I am somehow able to compartmentalize and have a fulfilling life. I’m still deeply hurt and do have bad days but not all the time, not even often actually.
Post # 205
@indisbelief: I am so glad to hear you seem to be moving along well with therapy. I’m sure it will take quite some time to work through everything. I think it’s also great that your life is going well outside of all this – it’s important knowing that you yourself are happy and independent when coming to a decision about your relationship. I wish you the best and keep us updated.