(Closed) Caught my fiancé in a huge lie

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee

threeblindmice:  What? No. It’s one thing if you’re 20 years in and have two kids, but to start off a marriage like this? Why would anyone put themselves through that?

PS, I love how you blame the other woman. Because she’s totally a “she-witch” who “lured” OP’s man. He was just an innocent bystander. (Barf)

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  beebee1983.
Post # 63
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

You are so strong and courageous for not staying with that douche canoe and letting him and that awful woman make a fool out of you. You may not have money right now, but you can always make more. Stay strong Bee!!!

Post # 64
Member
6829 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Good for you!! I know this is hard. I will tell you this–it’s easier to tell people you are canceling a wedding than it is to tell people you are divorcing your husband because he cheated on you. He’s crying because he was caught, this wasn’t a one or two message betrayal. Let her have him. Karma is a bitch. She did you a favor–the right man, a man who truly loves you, would have told her to f*ck off and leave him alone. Hold out for that. You’re worth it. 

Post # 65
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

What a piece of shit that man is. This is such an act of utter betrayl. But you know what stood out to me here? how incredibly strong you are, OP. You know your worth and you told him. Utter respect to you. You’re the type of woman I aspire to be. Thank you.

Post # 66
Member
10027 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Not to mention, you only saw what was the the IM’s. No telling what was in his phone that they were saying in text at work.

A whole load of nope on that one.

Post # 67
Member
44 posts
Newbee

Fuck that. What a huge betrayal. Next!!!

Post # 68
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee

I always think of Love Actually quote in these situations, as silly as that sounds but at the end when Emma Thompson finds out about her husband cheating. Again I know its silly that I’m quoting a very old romantic comedy, but the last line hits me every time haha! 

she finds that necklace and says

“Imagine your husband bought a gold necklace and come Christmas gave it to somebody else. Would you wait around to find out if it’s just a necklace, or if it’s sex and a necklace, or if worst of all it’s a necklace and love? Would you stay, knowing life would always be a little bit worse? Or would you cut and run?”

If he is capable of doing this after asking you to marry him and you’re not even married yet, I think you’ve made the right deicision. Life doesn’t always need to be a little bit worse. You’ll find someone who respects you and doesn’t need a different life while he’s at work. 

Post # 69
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2017

 

LadyHatter:  I totally agree. If she can’t get the money refunded. Throw a big party to celebrate how awesome you are. It takes serious courage to walk away from someone that is toxic for you.

Post # 70
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m sorry bee. He has probably already cheated on you.  I say sell the ring to get some of your money back and cut your losses.  Thank God you didn’t marry him first! My heart aches for you!

Post # 71
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

You dont know what to do?

Please get a backbone for your sake.I dont mean to be mean but how the fuck do you not know that you need to kick his ass to the curb? Ugggh

Post # 72
Member
5161 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

I am glad I read your update before I responded. Good for you for standing up for your worth. Keep it up.

Your ex-FI acted like a disrespectful, selfish asshole. He clearly knew he was doing wrong, he made promises to you and intentionally broke them and took steps to hide them, and has lied, lied, lied. 

This is NOT the way to start off a marriage. 

I don’t agree that “giving up” in a case like this is the reason divorce rates are so “high” (in quotes because those are not facts) because if more people did like you have and walked away when stuff like this came up before marriage instead of getting married anyway thinking things would work themselves out maybe everyone would be a little better off. Marriage does not fix these issues.

There is absolutely no need to marry someone where there is such glaring trust issues and deceit. Absolutely none. 

Post # 73
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

Oh sorry, saw the update and that you left. Good for you.

Post # 74
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

beebee1983:  I simply have a different opinion than you and it seems very much this woman loves her fiancé and doesn’t want to leave.  Everyone on here is yelling at her to “get out now” but I wouldn’t have the beautiful life I do now if I had given up on my relationship early on.  I certainly wouldn’t have my beautiful babies.

My advice was to step back, go to counseling and take time to find their place, not to just forgive him or jump ship. 

I also don’t know this other woman.  My wording was only based on how the OP described her.  SHE said she lured her ex-boyfriend and it’s obvious this lady has some mental issues with our bee.  I said her fiances actions were UNEXCUSABLE (why does my autocorrect insist on all caps-ing that lol) but that doesn’t mean this other lady isn’t also to blame.  It’s truly a two way street.

And this meme just because everyone seems so fired up today, it’s Friday ladies!!!  😀  

Post # 75
Hostess
2633 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

futuremrsherron:  WOW I can only imagine how much this hurts…and how much you’d be mad. 

I’m glad you left I really am. 

 

I wish there was a way with the law that you could take your ex to court to pay for half of the cancelled wedding…that’s a lot of money to throw away. 

Is ther any way some of the vendors could give you back some of the money? some must have a heart. 

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