(Closed) Caught my fiancé in a lie. Don't know what to do.

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 91
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

lim3:  LOL I was just going through that thread. Now that poor girl….

Post # 92
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

lim3:  LOL just read it xD yes. and out of the field he goes!!! I got no time to waste for liars.

Post # 93
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

HeatherD16:  sometimes the only way people can learn something is when a professional explains the consequences. 

Post # 94
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee

I can totally understand why you’re upset, since you’ve had firsthand experience with addiction and overdose. I can also understand your fiancé’s choices– he probably thought it was a one-time thing and you’d never have to know about it, so it wouldn’t cause you pain. There’s also sort of the guy code thing of not sharing what goes on at the bachelor party, because it often has consequences for the other guys there. He was probably in a really tough spot between you and the other guys. I personally wouldn’t think twice about my partner doing coke at a party, but that’s ME. You get to feel however you want about it. However, I wouldn’t worry that it means anything about your fiance, or that he’s going to become an addict. Bachelor parties are extreme, one-time things, and yes, people can cross boundaries during them, but the behavior is atypical.

Post # 95
Member
12308 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

peridot456:  Most couples attend more than a few weddings around the same time as theirs. If the type of friends that OP’s Fiance hangs out with think nothing of hiring prostitutes,  not to mention FI’s brother and Fiance himself has close ties to a  dealer, I think you are somewhat naive in your belief that this is a one time thing. 

In this case once would be one time too many for me. I simply wouldn’t start a marriage off this way. 

Post # 96
Member
9595 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I guess I’m a delinquent because using coke at a bachelor party wouldn’t bother me. Every weekend/month… Ick. Once? Meh. Not like its meth or heroin/opiates or PCP or crack or prostitutes. 

Post # 97
Member
1587 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Nothing to add to whatever the point of this thread has ended up being, but I think it’s fascinating how the line of acceptable deviant behavior is clearly socioeconomically drawn.

Post # 98
Member
362 posts
Helper bee

wonderlily:  Define both “deviant behavior” and “socioeconomically drawn”…?

Post # 99
Member
927 posts
Busy bee

Mal_Adjusted:  Yes, an interesting comment!

wonderlily: Socioeconomic status relates to one’s income, education and occupation. I disagree that there is a clear line on that basis. I can assure you I know recreational drug takers who are unemployed, who are lawyers, who are laborers, who are accountants, who are police (!), who are office workers, who are delivery drivers, more lawyers, scientists, social workers, journalists, economists, financial planners, car salesmen, obstetricians – you get my point. I know recreational drug takers who have all levels of education, and who grew up in families with all different levels of income/assets, growing up in affluent areas or poorer areas or anything in between. 

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