Post # 1
Background: I’m in college in a different state, shes always struggled in school. My sister is 14, in 8th grade. Just now I saw that she poked me on fb. So I poked her back, and she immediately poked me back. So I sent her a fb chat message and told her to go to sleep. She starts freaking out telling me not to tell my dad and that shes writing a paper. She emailed me the half shes written so she was working at some point. Should I call/text my dad and tell him that its 2am and shes up writing a paper? She said 12-5 is her “prime time”. The paper isn’t due until the 14th. Part of me feels like when I was 14 I did this all the time. And part of me feels like if shes on fb then shes on fb, and should really be getting some sleep. And most of me feels like I shouldn’t be a tattle tale. What would you do?
Post # 3
@asscherlover: My sister is 8 years younger. I usually opt to turn a blind eye, unless it’s really dire!
Post # 4
I usually won’t say anything to my parents unless my little brothers are in danger. I’d rather be someone they can trust, so if they’re really in need, they’ll come to me for help.
Post # 5
As the youngest of 3, I vote not being a tattle tale. Siblings trust eachother not to tattle. my sister used to get really angry and judgy at me for stuff when I was younger, thinking it was possible for me to learn from her mistakes. Its not. It just caused me to not tell her things anymore. Kids have to learn on their own sometimes.
Post # 6
I wasn’t thinking about doing anything until she started freaking out. Which made me wonder if shes doing something else bad.
Post # 7
I think this is something pretty small. You also will want to have her trust when bigger things come up! She really might not be lying. She may have just been giving the paper a minute. I often do that while writing.
I say be the cool older sister!
Post # 8
@asscherlover: I think if it’s not something dangerous, and you haven’t been repeatedly catching her up all night on fb, I would leave it alone. I say that being the oldest of three. I try to let them make their mistakes (unless it’s something that puts them in harms way) because since your the sis, you are who they will go to when they can’t talk to anyone else. If they start seeing you as a tattle tale, they won’t trust you any more… (I now know this from experience) anyway, just my opinion!
Post # 9
Why would you do that?
She’s up late. I used to stay up so late talking to my BFFs or crushes online– nothing bad happened but if my parents had known, they would have yelled and taken away the phone/computer.
Don’t lose her trust now, you might need it later if she actually does something wrong.
Post # 10
my sister loves lecturing me about what i post on FB and the such (um, i’m 28…shes 39), and it drives me up the wall. Be my sister – not my mom. So no – don’t tell your dad. It’s not life or death, and it’s not harming her….just let it go. not worth it :).
Post # 11
Thanks for all the fast opinions! I’ll let her write her paper/surf facebook in peace 😛
Post # 12
@les105: <– Yes, exactly what she said.
My brothers (15 and 18) do dumb stuff on facebook all the time…or well, some dumb stuff in general. My Mom is friends w them on FB so I trust that anything she has an issue with she can handle. I don’t like to tattle because I want to be the big sister they can call when something real is happening.
I do have it a little different with my youngest sister because she is just 7 (almost 8.) By the time she has papers to write and FB (well it probably won’t be FB for her generation…) I’ll be so out of touch with what’s “cool” who knows what will happen.
Post # 13
Unless she is your child and you are her legal guardian, I don’t understand getting upset over it.
Post # 14
When I was 14, I was always awake “writing papers” and chatting with friends on the internet. I think it’s normal and it’s nothing to be worried about. She probably freaked because you told her to go to bed and she’s feeling guilty about being awake.
At least she’s on FB poking you and not sneaking out of her room to drink/party with friends.
Post # 15
My little sister (5 years younger) and I used to talk on IRC all the time when I was away at university.
She used to confide in me some pretty wild stuff… and I kept her confidence, even though sometimes I wanted to call my parents.
She turned herself around though, and is now completing a PhD in higher math. And ou relationship is still strong, in part because never once did I break her trust.
Post # 16
Honestly, I do my best work between 10pm and 3am. I was that same exact way when I was her age.. and although I stayed up late to do it, at least it got done haha. (mostly last minute.. oops.)