Caused a car accident, feeling like human garbage

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 19
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

Years ago I was driving into the sun on a street I drove every day so I was probably distracted too and ran a red light. I ripped the front end off a brand new car. The other driver was livid and screamed at me. No one was hurt thank goodness. I felt horrible until the police showed up. The officer was so kind and told the guy to shut the hell up – no one was hurt, I had admitted  fault, and I had insurance. The officer even gave me a hug. I felt awful for awhile too but you can be grateful no one was hurt. 

Post # 21
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Gosh, people can be so rude and unhelpful! I second the bee who said that those people that were glad to make a statement have made just as many mistakes themselves!  A couple years ago I was backing into a spot and tapped the bumper of the guy behind me. He got out of his car and started screaming that I’d destroyed his bumper. Mind you I was going less than 2 mph and there was not a mark on it. He started telling me it was at least $300 in damage and I started getting scared. He went around telling other people I was lying about hitting him (because I stupidly started engaging him by saying there was no damage). We called the police and he started telling the police I was just an ignorant idiot. The police looked at the cars and told us to submit to our insurance and then noticed he was parked illegally in a handicap spot. Nothing more gratifying then watching that smug non-ignorant look fall of his face. 

Long story short, we all make mistakes but jerks are jerks through and through and they will always get there’s. I’ll bet you are a good person through and through. 

Post # 22
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

 People make mistakes. You know you made a mistake. You admit you made a mistake. You’ll learn from your mistake. I get very pissed off on a daily basis by people who just dont seem to consider the people about them, but it doesnt sound like thats who you are. That sort of person would have said meh, no one was hurt, whats the big deal.

Post # 23
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

Yesterday, driving home from work, the same drive I do everyday, I turned left 1 turn too early I to a 1 way street with traffic coming towards me, thankfully I was able to reverse and nothing happened (except see gesticulating from the woman coming towards me which was totally justified) 

I was tired, I am pregnant and that’s the only reasons I can picture for the weird lapse in driving. I could have caused an accident and was just as careless as you. It ran through my head all night. 

No point in going over what ifs, we both got lucky, noone got hurt. It’s going to be ok, have an encouraging hug from a fellow jdiot

Post # 24
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I caused an accident a few months ago and felt awful for a while. But it does help to remind yourself, a) it was not purposeful.. hence, “accident”. b) you recognize what you did wrong and do feel sorry for it (better than driving like an asshole 24/7 and being in denial about it and c) nobody was injured! 

I was pulling out of a parking spot in the garage at work when my shoe became lodged between the gas and brake pedals. I accelerated instead of braking, and slammed into 2 cars, one of which literally moved out of its parked space and tapped a third car. Like you, I felt like shit, but none of the cars were seriously damaged (even mine which was the worst wasn’t totalled) and nobody was injured… very easily somebody could have been walking behind my car when this happened and I’m lucky there were no occupants in any of the cars either! 

I had a relatively easy experience getting my car fixed and going through my insurance, so I’m also grateful for that. I think you’ll feel better with time! 

Post # 25
Member
1256 posts
Bumble bee

When I was 18 I was doing something on my phone, like a jackass, and didn’t notice the light was red and people were stopped. I tried to put on the brakes but ended up hitting the car in front of me, causing them to hit rear-end the car in front of them. 

I was nearly stopped when I hit the first car, so we all just bumped each other…but the guy in the car in front of the one I hit got out totally pissed because he thought the car behind him (the one I hit) had randomly accelerated into him, from a full stop, at a red light. I had to get out of my car waving and pointing at myself to be like “NO IT WAS ME! I hit him and that’s why he hit you. ENTIRELY MY FAULT!” 

Luckily nothing was damaged and no one was hurt, but I could have seriously hurt people by being so insanely careless.

Post # 26
Member
4069 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I figure I’ll tell you my story of my accident because I can definitely commiserate….

i had a brand new car that was two months old. I was pulling out of a parking lot which was in the middle of a big hill to make a left, two lanes of traffic going both ways, I inched out and then some more until a light turned green in the lanes I was turning into so I got stuck in the middle of the road because I couldn’t make a left. There was a car behind me so I couldn’t reverse.

A light then turned green down the street from my left and I watched a car in the left lane stop because I was blocking the lanes while a huge van just plowed right into my car and t-boned it. I watched the entire thing happen in slow motion. I went unconscious hitting my head on my window which shattered. my car spun a bunch of times and ended up on the way other side of the road facing oncoming traffic. My car seat was completely pulled up on the left side so I was stuck. I ended up stupidly pulling myself out of the passenger side door running around my car hysterical. Asking if the other driver was okay. My pants were completely ripped my head was bleeding I looked like a hot mess.

A bunch of people stopped and tried to make me sit down. Weird turn of events was that my mom was down the street, heard the crash, knew I was in the area and had a weird feeling it was me. So I see my mom suddenly running across the street toward me. The EMTs made me lay down because they were worried I had a neck injury. My adrenaline was so high I didn’t even realize I was hurt. The EMT told me I had blood all over me and I had to lay down. Little did I know the woman who hit me who I was so concerned about was telling the cop that she saw me on my phone! I was not on my phone and this pissed me the fuck off! 

 while I was getting put into the ambulance the cop gave my mom 5 tickets. One for using my cell phone which I wasn’t. My mom cursed out the cop lol. My brand new car was totaled, I had a concussion, cuts, bruises, whiplash but that was it, thank god.

I had to go to court for all the tickets, careless driving, obstructing traffic, cell phone, obstructing view (had a rosery hanging from my rear view mirror) and I was armed with proof from my phone company that I wasn’t on my phone, I had pics of the accident, my medical records everything.  

the prosecutor took one look at all my stuff and felt so bad for me and what I went through, he dismissed every ticket. I had to pay a $30 court fee and he told me to just move on and put that behind me. It was by far the nicest thing anyone ever did for me. I cried so hard when it was over.

I know how you feel to deal with an accident. I am lucky I am alive and you are lucky that that was all the damage that was caused. It could have been so much worse. Try to not be so hard on yourself and put it behind you but be more careful next time around. My accident taught me a lot about carelessness and I’m sure this taught you a lot as well. I didn’t drive for a few months because it really shook me up…

Post # 27
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

As everyone else is saying, it was an accident, and no one was hurt. It could have been much, much worse, but it wasn’t, and you’re clearly feeling remorseful and have learned your lesson. I caused a very small accident shortly after getting my license. It made me so upset and nervous to drive again for a while, but I started to get over it by talking with my family, and now (over 10 years later) I don’t even think about it because it was so minor.

I needed to get into the left-turn lane. There looked to be enough space to get into the lane (between the divider on the far left and the lane I was currently in). However, as I was merging into the lane, I passed a pick-up truck with a protruding sideview mirror. I didn’t even see it, but I heard my mom’s van scrape against mirror. I made the left turn, and the truck followed me. I was with my sister at the time, so we both were trying to calm each other down and get out and talk to the woman in the truck when she came up and opened the driver’s side door and started yelling and cussing at me and saying she wanted to hit me but didn’t want to go to jail. I felt paralyzed; I had NEVER been spoken to that way before, and I thought maybe I had caused more damage than I really did. I let her berate me for a few minutes while I was trying to process everything, and then I got out and asked my sister to call my parents while I looked at the damage on our van and her truck, and the woman called the police. I don’t really remember what happened between calling our parents and my mom and the police arriving, but when my mom got there, the woman started trying to accuse me for other dents and dings on her truck that I clearly couldn’t have caused. When the police got there, he agreed that I couldn’t have caused that damage and started filing a repot. Meanwhile, my mom could see how shaken up my sister and I were, so she was trying to calm us down by telling jokes and things. We were laughing a bit, and then the woman went off and was yelling at us for laughing at her. The police officer calmed her down and handled everything he had to, and then we all left. The worst part of the whole experience was how rude the other driver was. If she had been calm like the driver you side-swiped, I certainly still would have felt shaken and guilty, but I wouldn’t have felt so traumatized and scared about driving for the next couple of months.

Post # 28
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I t-boned a cop once.  😎

Post # 29
Member
213 posts
Helper bee

anonomybee83 :  right, emotions are useful but you are letting yours get confused and out of control, and allowing guilt to morph into shame. Here is my advice:

Guilt is the appropriate emotion to feel in this situation. Guilt is an ‘other-focussed’ emotion that we feel when we have done a specific thing that harmed (or could have harmed) another. Its function is to make you feel bad enough to compel you to try to make amends and learn from your mistake. You’ve done this so your guilt has served it’s purpose. When the memory pops up and you feel guilty again just remind yourself you’ve done everything you could and should have done, let the feelings go and move on. There is nothing more for anyone to be gained by dwelling on this or continuing to feel bad.

Shame is a ‘self-focused’ global emotion that we feel when we think something we have done is symptomatic of being a bad person, not just a person who has done a bad thing. Unless your accident is just the latest of a long history of careless/dangerous/selfish (etc) acts, which it sounds like it is not, shame is not an appropriate emotion to be feeling in this situation and serves no useful function here. Shame is very self punishing and arguably quite self indulgent. Your feeling bad makes literally no difference to the person whose car you bumped into. Let it go and move on.

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