Post # 1
Hi ladies I need to vent.
My wedding is in 13 days and it is nerve wrecking. but that is not what my vent is about. My entire family is coming to my wedding all 44 of them. The problem is I HATE MY FAMILY. I know I know its wrong to say that. but it’s true.
The reason why I hate them is because I was abused for 6 years by my stepfather. When I pleaded to my family to help me, they called me a liar. My mother included. No one believed me and the abuse continued from age 12 to 18 when I ran away from home. Now 7 years later after I ran away I am trying to forge some sort of relationship with them. The problem is my stepfather is still in the picture, and they still dont believe me, they think Im a crazy liar. How do I cope? How do I force a smile when I want to scream?
Post # 3
Why would you invite them?
Post # 4
This day is about you, not about them. If they abused you and caused you that much pain, there’s no reason you should invite them.
Post # 5
@pynkbunnie: wow. I don’t know what to say. You are a strong person for inviting them because if it were me, I would have cut them all out. I don’t think your wedding day should be the day for forced therapy and healing. Perhaps before the wedding you can sit down and talk it out. If it gets out of hand, let them know that if you don’t get out what you want to get out, they will not be welcomed to the ceremony. I wish you the best.
Post # 6
Get to a therapist, ASAP! No ifs ands or buts. If insurance/finances are an issue, see if they will work with you for a reduced rate. Or possibly they could recommend someone who would. Support groups come to mind as well. I wish you strength, wisdom, patience and lots of good luck!
Post # 7
@pynkbunnie: How is your Fiance ok that a man who molested you is going to be at the wedding?
Post # 8
With 13 days to go you could try to talk to them but I’m not sure that would make things better at this point. You might just stir the pot more. Just try to remember why you and your fiance love each other and are getting married. Its not about your mom and stepdad and whoever else is in the picture. It’s about you and your future husband on your wedding day, forming your own family from that point on and moving through life together.
I would discuss this with your bridesmaids or your core group of friends that will be with you on the day of the wedding. They can help you maintain focus on what the day is about and maybe keep some of your family members at a distance.
Post # 9
is your step father coming? i’d hate for him to ruin your day.
Post # 10
You know what really happened! And until YOU come to terms with it and let go for you, it will always be a burden, it will always be the big elephant in the middle of the room!
Be the bigger person! Most people accept living in denial, its sad!
And most people arent strong like you and cant face the facts!
Be patient but strong!
It takes time to heal all wounds!
Hold your head up high, marry the man of your dreams and walk back up that aisle a new woman and as your husbands wife! =]
Post # 11
My stepfather isnt coming to the wedding, I had to beg and plead my mom. But he will be there for thanksgiving. Its just so hard sometimes. I wish I could cut them all out of my life, but I love my half sisters soooo much, and to not have contact with them would just be unimaginable.
Thanks everyone for your supportive remarks. It really helps. If I’m feeling down in the next 13 days I will reread these post. It really really helps. I cant say it enough. My fiance hates it that my family is coming. He has vowed that after the wedding he is going to distance us from them as much as possible without cutting out my sisters. I feel so lucky to finally have REAL love in my life.
Post # 12
Well sweetie, I’m glad to hear your step dad won’t be there.. given your history it would be a shame to have him looming there.
Your day will be just FAB and all about you.. you won’t even notice the family that bother you. I see why you invited them anwyays, family issues can be such a shit show at times.
You’ll be enjoying the romanticism and bliss of the day… Nothing will bother you! xo and postive vibes being sent your way!! 🙂