(Closed) CBC – friends are envious?

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

it was probably said in a light hearted way, though you can still travel and have nice things AND have kids…

Post # 18
893 posts
Busy bee

_blackbird_:  oh, I get comments all the time about my friends being envious of my CBC status. it doesn’t mean they have regrets, they’re just tired and sometimes miss their old life. 

I also get remarks of jealousy from friends who are on the fence and are having a hard time deciding. they wish they could stop fretting over it and make a decision already. 

Post # 19
594 posts
Busy bee

My husband and I are childfree, and people give us all sorts of comments like that. I don’t think it’s that odd! I think a lot of it is mostly flattery, and a tiny bit is jealousy. We have a friend whose wife pretty much tricked him into having a baby (we thought they were CFC, but she “forgot” to take her birth control pills and suddenly stopped being pro-choice…) Whenever he makes comment like that, it’s easy to see that he’s actually jealous. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good dad, but it’s definitely not the life he wanted.

A pet peeve of mine is when people tack on “yet” at the end of the comments – “You can do that because you don’t have kids yet”. I usually give a pretty awkward, “Yeah, not gonna happen” and smile, as I’m not sure what else to say.

Post # 20
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Hi, just wondering what does CBC mean? I looked into the abbreviations and couldn’t seem to find it at all.

Post # 22
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

My friends who have kids make comments from time to time but I have a hard time taking them seriously.. CBC is a big choice and as is having children.

I don’t understand how people who who chose one vs the other can truly be envious of the other side. They like certain aspects…. Like the free time, the ability to be frivolous with money, travel, being able to be selfish, etc.. Not the whole picture. 

Post # 24
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

In full disclosure, I have a child and love being a parent, so maybe I’m off on this but those types of comments always struck me as …backhanded. Like they’re assuming you must need for them to validate your life. 

I know, that sounds all bitchy and awful–if they’re your friends, they were probably voicing genuine things, but when it’s said by more casual acquaintances, it always struck a weird chord with me. Like, “Oh, I totally envy the fact that you’re out of work. I would LOVE free time like that!” or something. I think it’s the need to recenter everything around children and family life and indirectly create a comparative–like, can’t they just comment positively on how great your house is? Why bring the fact that you’re CBC in at all? 

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