(Closed) CBC: Has anyone ever assumed that you're unable to have children?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

ugh. i will never understand why people think everyone should be just like them. Darling Husband and i are planning on having 1 kid but i fully understand why others choose not to have kids. having kids is a choice not a requirement. it pisses me off when people think everyone should have kids. that’s just ridiculous!

Post # 4
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Haha, I don’t want kids, either, and everyone just assumes I DO. It’s always 

“So WHEN are you having kids?”

I’ve never had anyone think I couldn’t have kids but for some reason I’ve had people get kind of insulted when I say “Not planning on having any. They’re just not for me.” it’s not like I said “hey, I hate your kids, they suck”, but sometimes they sure act like that’s what I said! Lol. 

Post # 6
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I love to let people think that, then they stop bugging you about having kids/their kids.

Post # 7
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have a baby and I do not understand people like your friend. Those statements are completely ignorant on her part and it is not at all unusual these days for people to be childfree by choice. That is how it is in California at least, so I find that sort of judgement to be very strange.

Post # 9
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@SouthernGirl:  Yeah, I don’t understand that either. I just try to ignore it, which can be hard.

Post # 10
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You know what? You can never underestimate other people’s stupidity. 

 

It’s only recently that a family member said this to me (we have a similar profession involving people) and it is really so true. 

 

Look at an IQ bell curve. Imagine a similar EQ one. Why do we bother letting these people annoy us? 

 

Let’s focus on the positive – in contrast to 60 years ago, we live in an age where we can reliably control if, when and how many children we have (or choose not to have). Unfortunately, there’s no controlling other people’s ignorance. Now there’s a challenge for the 21st century…

Post # 11
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Luckily I haven’t discussed my life plans with anyone that ignorant. In fact, I’m lucky to know a few other very respectable CBC couples, so we have an alliance of sorts. Yikes… The world must be such a confusing place for someone who is unable to fathom choices that are different from their own. 

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1006 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

SO and I have talked about children a few times and we’re on the line- I might be a little across into CBC territory.  It’s not really an issue for us yet because we’re years away from being engaged/married/biological clock time period.  (I’m only 22).  But it does bother me how when I mention I’m not sure if I ever want kids, people are like, “WHY?!” and then spout off reasons why I should never think I don’t want kids.  Then they sometimes proceed to say “You’re young.  You’ll change your mind.” No one ever asks people who DO want kids why they want kids and they don’t assume that those people will change their mind, even if young.  I just don’t like that having kids is a default. 

Post # 13
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m still at the stage where I say “I don’t want children” and people add “yet” at the end of it. How the @#$% do you know what the @#$% I want with MY life?

Post # 14
Member
1849 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@strawbs:  That response makes me wish I could breathe fire. 

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