(Closed) CBC -> wanting a baby…. uh oh.

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oy, what a challenging position to be in!  FI and I periodically have CBC talks to make sure we’re on the same page, but we’ve both made it clear to each other that if one of us changes our minds, the marriage would no longer work for us.  I’m very interested to hear the stories of what happens with others in their marriages!!

Post # 4
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Well my husband wasn’t CBC, but he was ready to be done after Dirty Delete #2. I originally thought I wanted 4 kids, but then after #2 thought we were done too. Then last year really felt like our family wasn’t complete. I told him how I felt and at first was against it. We talked about it and he said that since it was something I felt really strongly about that he would jump on board.

P.S- I get that these two things aren’t the same, but I think you both need to be on the same page and decide if it is something you would regret if you did/didn’t do.

Post # 5
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MadameTussaud:  I actually know someone whose child was in a CBC marriage and the wife decided she wanted kids. They ended up getting divorced since they knew it just wouldn’t work. He got the dog, she got the ability to go have kids.

All I can say is good luck. I never wanted kids growing up, until we got married. I always said I won’t have kids, then it was like a light switch went off and I wanted a child, and I wanted it then. Darling Husband and I had talked before and he wasn’t sure which way he wanted to go. Well we ended up with an accidential pregnancy, completely unexpected (I ovulated just past CD100), so things are working out.

Post # 6
Hostess
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I am really glad you posted this.

I don’t have any words of suggestion but I am currently dealing with this in my own (new marriage) as well. While I thought perhaps sometime down the line I would want children I don’t really see that happening within the next five or so years. My Darling Husband does want children (two preferably). I am not sure what he would do if I said no to children entirely versus my current song and dance of lets wait a little longer.

Post # 9
Hostess
11166 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@oracle:  Yes and I would say “ditto” to what you have written. Some may consider it selfish but I see nothing wrong with not wanting to give up everything that is me to become a mother…at least I’m not there yet.

 

Post # 10
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@oracle:  Well at the very least, you know you two will be able to work this out in your relationship!  =o)  It sounds like the both of you prioritize each other, and you’ve been communicating with him about it.

Post # 12
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@oracle  I just found this thread and was wondering if you were still around on the bee and what (if any) decision you and your Darling Husband have come to.   I am in the EXACT position you described and was curious as to how your situation turned out.  My husband is 100% against having children and I was too…I am not sure what happened to make me change my mind.  We also got a dog and life has settled down/changed a lot. That and the fact that I am 35 is probably what has brought the topic to mind.  I also would never leave my husband because of this…I married him knowing he was 100% against having kids.

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