Post # 1
Just looking for a little support here. Darling Husband and I are still on the fence about having children. I think part of the reason why I feel on the fence is this inordinate amount of pressure from our parents to have children. I notice that many CBC couples here have brothers/sisters with kids. I know that’s the case with my CBC friends IRL as well. They have little or less pressure on them to have kids because their parents are already grandparents. Too bad there’s a less than 0 chance either my sibling or DH’s sibling will have kids someday. I’m at the point now where I seriously want to forever avoid all family functions just so I don’t have to keep getting grilled about the grandkid thing. I love my family, but not the nagging!
Any other couples here who are CBC and get a lot of pressure to have kids because there *has* to be a grandchild? How do you deal with it without going crazy?
Post # 3
DH’s dad is trying to pressure us. Once when I said “if we have kids” he corrected me with “when you have kids” >.<
I don’t have siblings. DH’s just graduated from HS. I think that’s why there’s so much pressure on us.
Post # 4
We are CBC for now, I’m not sure if it is a forever decision but for some time we have been living this life style and will continue to do so for at least the immediate future. We are both oldest children in families with no grand children. In fact, none of our cousins (mine are older, his same or younger) have children either.
My best advice for avoiding the family pressure. Move far away or put yourself in a career focus where you clearly could not have time to have a kid. haha I know this sounds rediculous but it describes us and no one asks when we are having babies. I figure, they must feel like there is not point to pressure for grand children they won’t see more than once or twice per year.
Post # 5
@slicey19: That’s the crazy part. I’m in a very stressful and time-intensive career. I work every other weekend and 10 – 12 hour days as it is!!! Having a kid now isn’t an option from the work perspective alone! And yet still the constant hints or outright questions. Uuuuugh! We’d move far away, but I really do love my current job despite how busy it gets. :- So now I’ve resorted to using my job as the excuse to avoid family functions. At least that’s working for me!
@MrsElopement: Yes, no matter how you tell people “if,” it’s never “if” rather “when.” I hear that! And then there’s the whole flipping back and forth. At first Mother-In-Law does the whole “I don’t expect kids from you” (as we’ve been vocal about our decision). But then later in the conversation she talks as though we’re going to have kids! WTH?
Post # 6
We aren’t sure about having kids either and my SIL is still in college so I doubt she will have any for a while if at all. Thankfully my ILs aren’t harrassing about kids yet, but we see them next week so I will know for sure then.
Post # 7
Darling Husband and I are CBC, and I’m 95% sure his brother and my sister are CBC as well. They have both mentioned in passing that they don’t really want children, and would rather be an aunt/uncle (sucks, since we would be their only hope for that and we’re CBC as well!). They are both single though, so they could eventually change their minds.