(Closed) CC debt post made me think … does our spouse see our cc debt? …

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
7053 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Imho it’s only if he’s added to the account and it becomes a joint account.  That’s what had happened to me with my x and a 15k cc.  

My guy knows how much debt I have total.  It’s not alot and I’ll have it paid off within six months after we move in together (we’ll move in maybe 3 mos before we get married).  I have way less than the national average btw.  He just knows all of the stuff…INCLUDING the bad stuff that my x did which is finally beginning to fall by the wayside thank goodness! My x almost ruined me financially btw..apparently it’s pricey to cheat.

Post # 4
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

my Fiance and i have everything seperate… his salary is the bills stuff (house, cars ect)  and mine is the fun stuff (holidays, furniture, toys, stuff ect). he still doesnt even know how much i earn (more than him btw) and what CC’s i have. he never asks so i never tell (wink wink). of because im an accountant i do his taxes so i know EVERYTHING about him

we plan on keeping everything seperate after marriage because we have alot of assets (property ect),

after marriage, we will still be legally seperate for CC’s (and loans if we had any). if one of us was to die then outstanding bills will have to be paid from the estate

if you were to combine all your financial interests legally then you would be taking on the debts equally is my understanding

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

unless you change details it will still have your name on it but if he opens your mail, youre in trouble girl!

Post # 7
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

All kidding aside, I think it’s important that both parties know each others cred card debt and spending habits before they get married. Being open and honest about it is important. I believe in putting all cards out on the table before you get married. You don’t want to find out 2 years after you are married that your Fiance has a serious online gambling problem. Finances are often a big factor in relationships. It’s also one of the main reasons couples fight. Neither of you should set yourself up for a surprise. Knowing what your future looks like, financially, is extremely important to know (realistically) before you make your life plans.

Post # 8
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

If you apply for a mortgage together (or other big loan) then credit card information would come up.  Otherwise, he won’t know unless he opens your mail, but with DesertChildAZ that debt isn’t something you should hide.

Post # 9
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

He COULD be held liable for your debts if you can’t pay them, particularly if the debts were accrued after marriage.  A married couple automatically shares all debts they accrue after marriage — mortgages, car loans, credit card debt, etc.  If, say, you couldn’t make the payments on your personal credit card, he can be sued or have his wages garnished in an attempt to collect the money.  As DesertChild said, that’s why it’s so important to know each other’s spending habits before getting married! 

Post # 10
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Financial repsonsibility and liability legalities for married couples varies depending per state.  I’d read the "fine" print legalities of each of your bank accounts (cc cards, etc) and see if there is something in there about your state.  If you don’t have a copy, you can find one online or your bank should be willing to mail a copy to you.  I don’t know what websites exist out there to help you with the legal rights once you get married, but I’d try and do some searching about it if you can (and the states laws too).

Post # 11
Member
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My Future Brother-In-Law married a woman about 2 years ago, and they are having all sorts of complicated relationship problems because of misinformation and hiding financial information.  Because of this, my Fiance and I have both decided to be open about all spending minus little stuff.  I am a teacher, and I make more than he does, so that should tell you that we are not rolling in the dough.  So for us, being forthcoming about financial info is a must.

But I do think that there are some couples who do not share everything about money and do just fine.  

Legally, I think everyone should check out their rights and duties so that they don’t sneak up on you… 

Post # 12
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

yeah that is one thing I did not want to have; be burdened with someone with huge spending habits; I know people in serious debt and I could see how hard-up their lives are because of this and because of choices they made; someone I know is struggling to buy a house but because of family spending habits and being forever in debt this is virtually impossible; kind of breaks my heart because this person is very dear to me and she deserves the best

luckily me and my fiance are both very frugal-except when we are on vacation 🙂  his mom threw his dad  in the poorhouse with spending, my mom loved accruing stuff, let’s put it that way, which stressed my dad; so we both have the same mentality less stuff is more and we were always good with our money living within our means and saving when we can; I have some savings and he has an inheritance he never touched so despite our wedding hopefully we can buy a house in full and pay off 100% right off the bat 

Money is definitely a big issue between couples, it can split married people apart and create havoc we have both personally seen it;  different spending habits can cause stress and unhappiness when there shouldn’t be

 

I say be upfront and open and honest upfront so there are no surprises later; if you can afford your bills good for you, but beforehand I think he has a right to know

 

just my two cents worth

Post # 13
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I say be open, too. But then again, when I ask my Fiance if it’s ok if I splurge, he laughs and says he gives me permission, but never asks what I spent on previously desired (and purchased) JCrew purse. I think he just trusts me to spend within my means.

 That being said, don’t blow your salary on Neiman Marcus. Tough, I know, I love their stuff, too. Try thinking about the bigger picture…a house, saving for kids, a new refrigerator, hardwood floors, etc. You definitely have to be more careful now that you "share" a household and ultimately finances. But there’s nothing wrong with keeping some things personal. 

My Fiance and I have joint and separate accounts for reasons like this–so I can keep my CC stuff to myself and vice versa. And, if one of us ever defaults or messes up (heaven forbid) it’s not like the other is tarnished. 

Pay off any CC debt asap though…it has the highest interest rate. Which means you’re WASTING money! 

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is this post because of those sparkly shoes you were salivating over? LOL

Post # 15
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

In my opinion  it is best to be honest about all debt. I don’t think it is so important that you know exactly how much each other make. A round about figure is good, as long as how life willl be paid for and saved for are important.

Money and sex are the two most common things that lead to divorce.

Within one week of dating my FH and I had gone over all debt, basically, this is only college loans. I have never let myself use credit cards over say $500, just in case you need a car repair or something it is there. The FH uses a credit card all the time, pays it in full every month, and his balance on it is probably easily two to three times what I make. But he pays religiously in full. We use it for travel and are able to gain some FF miles from it.

We have separate accounts. He "pays" me twice a month. Yes, I have a job, but this way when I am not working, which I wasn’t for about 4 months so that I could travel with him, I have money and don’t have to ask for it. It was clever on his part. I am working and money still goes into my account. This way it is not a burden to me if he asks me to order a few hundred dollars or birthday gifts, books or other things for him. Whereas before, if he asked me to buy a plane ticket at a moments notice, it would have been impossible.

Once we marrry, I will still have a separate account. He will still pay my student loan and I will hopefully still work. 

But getting the fiances in order and talked about will go a long to insuring relationship success. 

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