- 1 year ago
I have been married nearly 2 months, but with Darling Husband for nearly 5 years. Since we have been together his mother has been horrendous to me. The behavior is firect as well as indirect. It became worse once we got engaged and continued to worsen as we closed in on the wedding. I fought hard to keep my composure through all her antics. I did not want her at the wedding because I was sure she would cause a scene, but I could never do that to Darling Husband. I mean, it’s his mother and he can’t change that. I won’t get too far into her antics because they are not truly relevant to this question, you only need to know they have been going on for the entirety of the relationship and that I never escalate and always let Darling Husband take care of it.
Now, come wedding day she brings an uninvited guest (there is a reason they were not invited) to our wedding that only had our parents, siblings, and grand parents. The uninvited guest was politely asked to leave and all hell broke loose. It was embarrassing as it was in a public park and Darling Husband had to yell at his mother because she was screaming and cussing and was determined to ruin the entire ceremony. It was extremely embarrassing, humiliating, and heartless for ourselves and our guest… Fast forward to the next day, our reception that everyone was invited to (even guest who was not the day before at the wedding), Darling Husband decides that mother’s actions will carry into the party and he did not want her or other guest there. He had a third party relay the information because she did not want to deal with the backlash on our special day (we were trying to salvage our happiness). Mother-In-Law continues to harass third-party all day long saying some really henious things about me that are not true, but could ruin my reputation and career.
Darling Husband decides that it is best to go no contact with his mother. I back him and support his decision. We block her on all forms of social media and her phone. Not even a month after the wedding she comes to Darling Husband place of work uninvited and after beign asked for no contact. She was calm, but he was working and is not allowed to have visitors, it was extremely unprofessional. He was livid. At this point I started to fear the repercussions if we did not contact her. Despite us wanting to contact her to tell her it was inappropriate we did not because we knew she wanted a reaction.
Fastforward a full month (to the day of her last visit to his work) and she comes again, but this time demanding we start over with her. She wants him and her to go to conseling (without me, because I am too immature) and explains to him that I am poisioning his brain. I hhave maybe had 30 conversations with this woman in the almost years I have known her. SHe knows nothing about me and does not care to. He tells her to leave and that he is not dealing with/having this conversation. When he gets home he unblocks her and texts her to tell her how inappropriate it is to come to his place of work and cause a scene. She messages him back that she does not think he is texting her, that it is actually me, so he calls her to tell her that she needs to stop coming to his work or contacting him. She lets him know that this is a ‘free contry’ and that she will come to his work and speak with him or do whatever else she pleases. She said other horrible things, but only about me. Nothing about Darling Husband, only me and I didn’ even do anything.
Darling Husband wants to send a cease and desist highlighting her defamation of my reputation and continuous harrassing behavior. He does not want to go straight to a restraining order, so this is the step before. I am worried it will make her worse, but at the same time I am worried that she will ruin his career and mine as well. My reputation is important in the line of work I’m in, I cannot have the type of information floating around my small town that she is spreading about me. My clients, professors, and professional peers could find out and while none of it is true, I do not feel like explaining mysef and telling everyone my business. What would you all do and do you think the cease and desist would make it worse? Is it even the way to go?