(Closed) center stone smaller than i wanted

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: How to tell FI i want a larger stone
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2362 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    Wait I am confused, if you saw a black spot under the magnifying glass, that means it is eye clean. Regardless, I don’t know how to bring it up to him, but is it in his budget to be able to purchase a larger stone?

    Post # 4
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I don’t get why people get hung up on the size of the diamond, and jealous of women with bigger rings. There are far more important things to think about. Imagine, the money he’s saved on the bigger diamond could go towards your wedding budget. Just be happy you’re engaged, and get excited about planning your special day together.

    Post # 5
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    1 carat is already well above the national average.  Unless you want a SUPER low quality diamond (or unless your fiance is quite wealthy!), 2 carat is just not real reasonable for the average person.  If you want more bling, what about doing some stacking arrangement with your wedding ring.  Women on this board have done such cool things with that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I think you should be happy that your fiance took into consideration the ring you wanted and got what he could afford instead of charging the ring and racking up unnecessary debt. Plus you could also go for the five year upgrade. 

    Stop comparing yourself to other woman and be happy with the one you got. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I agree with the rest of the ladies. Not to sound harsh, but getting married is not about a ring.

    Post # 8
    Member
    14066 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    2 carat is certainly not going to equate to being “better” if he’s trying to keep to the budget of the 1 ct he got you.  Quite frankly, it’s going to be a pretty dull and lackluster 2 ct unless he’s willing to severly up (double or triple the cost of the 1ct) to be on par quality wise.  But if he’s ok with spending that, and you’re really that bothered… there’s no other way to bring it up, but just to directly do so.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    OP, try taking pride in the fact that he wanted a high quality diamond for you. My 1ct is actually pretty small among my “circle”, but I’m also the only one with a bright white, sparkly VVS1 – I love that FH wanted me to have the highest quality! My friends with bigger stones always compliment me on how much my diamond sparkles, and even though my stone isn’t as big as theirs, I never feel like my ring is lesser than theirs.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    Would you personally be willing to put the *extra* $10,000 it would cost to upgrade your ring from 1 to 2ct? If yes, then do that. If no, then why not?

    Post # 11
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    [comment moderated for personal attack]

    Post # 12
    Member
    5407 posts
    Bee Keeper

    If your diamond was .1 carat I might be sympathetic but a 1 carat stone is considered big by many. You should stop being ungrateful and focus on your upcoming wedding and marriage–the important part. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    602 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    [comment moderated for personal attack]

    Post # 14
    Member
    998 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I understand both points of view. I too would have liked a bigger center stone (who wouldn’t!) but at the end of the day I do love my ring. I had my eye on at least a 1.5ct. FI purchased a 1.3ct but you can hardly notice the size difference between the two, it’s very slight. He picked a stone with excellent color, cut, clarity etc. . I saw the appraisal paperwork and it cost a lot more than I imagined so I don’t even want to think of what a good quality 2ct stone would be !!! Can your FI afford it? I’m not sure which shape your going for but I’m sure a poor quality 2ct would cost around 12k-15k and a great quality 2ct would cost around 20k-25k. That’s A LOT of $. Are you willing to give up quality for size and have ur FI invest more $? That’s the real question. Unless he’s rich … than that’s a different story. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    483 posts
    Helper bee

    Included 2cts where you can blatantly see inclusions range from 6,000 to 9,000 alone never mind the rest of the setting needing to be bigger …. So it’s all what you consider important and if he can actually afford it eye clean white stone 1ct or included with black specks and yellow hue for 2 ct that probably won’t match the rest of the setting even if there arnt inclusions that you can see

    Post # 16
    Member
    47 posts
    Newbee

    I can understand wanting a bigger center stone.  I don’t know where you’re from, but in NY, the average is not 1ct by any means, it’s definitely more.  And, it doesn’t seem to be a budgetary issue since he looked at the 2ct to begin with. 

    However, this is something really important to men, too.  When you sent him the rings originally, you should have mentioned you wanted a 2ct, but you didn’t and he went with what he thought would be the perfect ring to make you happy.  You shouldn’t mention that you want something bigger.  You should love what he got because he thought of you when he purchased it for you.  He went to the jeweler and he looked at the stones and he thought about what would make you happiest and picked it.  You should love it for that. 

    I don’t think it’s “greedy and ungrateful” as some of these women have said.  It really depends on the standard around.  All my friends except 1 have 2ct rings.  My friend has a 1ct and she says it made her sad when she saw everyone else’s large diamond rings, but that she absolutely loves the style of her ring and loves that he bought it for her, thinking of her. 

    As for the appraisals, they’re all almost double the price actually spent if you went to a good jeweler and got a good deal, so that’s not really a good basis for how much was spent. 

    Also, other women may have larger stones, but ask yourself what they’re missing out of their relationship that you have in yours.  Nothing is perfect, so be happy with what you have and consider a nice wedding band to match it or an upgrade in the future. 

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