Post # 1
My wedding was this past weekend and I noticed that one person stole a centerpiece (all of the oranments in it, but not the vase) and that every single one of my butterflies were stolen out of my centerpieces. My bartender said someone was going around to all of them picking out the butterflies. Did this happen to anyone else? Then there was a relative (his family not mine) that totally dismantled one and took the beads out. I personally find that rude. I bought all of that stuff with my hard earned money and I wanted two butterflies for my Christmas tree to remember the wedding.
I’m sad now. I just wondered if anyone else had that happen.
Post # 3
I think some people assume the centerpiece will be thrown out. Some people actually give centerpiece items as favors. I would never take something unless I KNEW it was an option.
I would try to figure out who it was and ask for them back!
Post # 4
Yeah, it could be a misunderstanding and not so much rude.
I know I have been to some weddings where they put a special note under the chair and that person gets to take the centerpiece home.
I would think its OK if you start spreading the word that you would like one or two of the butterflies from whoever collected them.
Post # 5
I’m HOPING people take the centerpieces! I don’t want to take home 20+ centerpieces. There is one bottle we are renting from the florist that my bridal party will pick up about an hour before the whole thing is over, but otherwise we are encouraging people to take everything!
Post # 6
Every wedding I’ve been to, the centerpieces are taken by the guests. I would have thought this was a completely normal thing.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Ack! Yeah, definitely try and figure out who it was and ask for at least two of the butterflies back. The whole centerpiece-is-up-for-grabs-after-the-wedding really differs between families/regions/cultures. There have been a couple threads on the topic (including one I myself started!) and you will hear a lot of varying opinions on the topic, it’s about 50/50 some people have never heard of that happening, for some people it is just a given that it will happen.
Post # 8
I know this isn’t technically his job, but the bartender should have said something when he saw it happening! That makes me think about telling my bartender or others to keep an eye out for that kind of stuff. I agree with PP, I would ask around and try to figure out who it was and demand they give your butterflies back to you.
I knew that some people like to give away their centerpieces at the end of the night, but I’ve never heard of people just taking them! That’s insane.
Post # 9
@lechevalnoir: Also, in some cultures taking centerpieces/flowers/decor/etc. is normal, so that might be something to think about. Maybe it was an older person who didn’t think it through?
Post # 11
I forced some of mine into people’s hand as they were leaving so I didn’t have to deal with them! I still had a bunch of sad dead flowers at home a week later. 🙂
The person taking all the butterflies was a little out of line, though – maybe you could quietly spread the word that you’re glad they’re safe, but you really wanted just a couple of them and hope they make their way back to you.
Post # 12
In my culture, the center piece is up for grabs. If you didn’t want people to disturb them, a note by each centerpiece would have made it clear for the guests. And someone in your bridal party could have kept a couple of the butterflies for safe keeping. it’s done, what you can do is spread word of mouth that you’d like a few back, like PP said.
Post # 13
In some areas, it is customary to give the centerpieces away or for guests to just take them. The family member might have assumed that was the case, and since nobody was taking them, thought they would take advantage and get more ornaments.
Post # 14
MIL’s friend ended up taking about 75% of the centerpieces, which I thought was rude, no so much because she took them (they’re up for grabs here too), but because she took most of them. Also, she just announced after we left that she was taking most of them. The polite thing would have been to ask. But it’s done, so whatever.
So the taking a centerpiece while I wouldn’t worry about as much, taking everyone one of the decorations is rude.
If you know who it was, can’t you ask for a couple of the items and explain that you wanted a couple to remember the wedding by? But other than that, I would not dwell on the single centerpiece too much.
Post # 15
I bet it was an honest mistake. They’ve given away the centerpieces at every wedding I’ve been to and so I’m guessing that the person who took them thought this would be the case as well.
Can you buy new butterflies for your tree instead?
Post # 16
I was going to say what many others did and that’s that it was always custom for smeone at the table to take the centerpiece at every wedding I’ve been to but it was always ANNOUNCED usually by the mother of the bride but always at least announced. If it isn’t announced you shouldn’t assume!