Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Long story short, my dad unexpectedly left my family; he passed away of heart attack.
I’m just wondering what others would do or have done in this kind of situation. Things to keep in mind:
– My mother really misses my dad; she’s used to having my dad around. They’ve been married for 30 years.
– My fiance prefers my family over his own. He’s really looking forward to joining my family more than me joining his. He really admires how my family pulls through difficult times and help one another out. In short, he really adores my family.
I’m kind of curious if brides without their dads skipped the father-daughter dance altogether.
I’m toying with the idea of my mother walking down the aisle with my brother …
OR.. have my uncle play the role of my dad. My uncle and dad were very close.
Anyway, having perspectives on such things would really help. Thanks in advance.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I think I would skip the father-daughter dance 🙁 BUt I would have either my mother or uncle walk me down the aisle. Maybe the uncle, in case it made my mother too emotional?
Post # 4
Mothers walk their daughters down the aisle all the time, so that’s a good option, and you could do a mother-daughter dance. She is your parent after all, so I see no reason why she can’t do those things that the father would normally do, unless she simply doesn’t want to.
Post # 5
I tied my parents wedding bands to my bouquet for my mom’s memory. We also did a family dance instead of the father/daughter, mother/son. I started to dance with my dad, DH with his mom, and then we switched off, and I danced with FIL, dad’s girlfriend got up to dance with him, DH danced with one of my girlfriends, bridal party danced with SO’s and we encouraged others to get up to dance too, and we just switched it up. Could you do something simular? DH dance with your mom, you can dance with FIL, maybe have your uncle cut in and dance with your mom and your brother dance with you…?
Post # 6
A memory charm on your bouquet so he is with you all day that’s what I did for my pop who passed only 2 months before my wedding
Post # 7
I have lost both my parents.
It is important to FI & FMiL that they still have their dance, so we are opting for a family/wedding party dance right after ours. During one song, we will be switching partners (FI with his mother, me with his father -switch- me with bestman, FI with MoH, etc.). Having immediate family and the wedding party on the floor during this puts less of a spotlight on the individual dances, while everyone still has their moment with each other, while not highlighting my missing mother & father.
I will have aunt (if she is able to travel) or my brother walk with me.
Talk with your mother, she may want to walk with you, dance with you.
Post # 8
@Cynderbug: my father passed away too and I did a few things to honor him.
My pastor mentioned him in his speech during the ceremony.
I also had a charm with a picture of him and I attached to my bouquet.
I also mentioned him in the wedding programs, along with my Godparents and my DH’s grandparents
Then at the reception, I had a mother/daughter dance, we danced to What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong
And I also created a montage of pictures to honor by father. It was a bunch of pictures of him and me as a baby, him and my mom and my sister and I chose “Daddy’s Little Girl” by Michael Buble and Somewhere over the Rainbow by Iz to play in the background.
FYI- my mother walked me down the aisle
Post # 9
I think having either your mom, or your brother (or both) walk you down the aisle will be fine. As for the father-daughter dance, bringing in your uncle is a good idea if you’re close to him. Or, perhaps with your brother? It could also be symbolic of your brother taking over your father’s role as man of the house.
Post # 10
I have lost both my parents as well.
And I am planning on walking down the aisle by myself~with a charm of my Dad on my boquet so he will still walk me down the aisle.
Post # 11
Your Mom or uncle or FI could walk you down the aisle, or you could do it by yourself…
And I’d either skip the father/daughter dance or do it with your Mom!
Post # 12
I love the idea of a mother daughter dance! Maybe you could put together a fun routine? You know, something different than a traditional father daughter waltz so that it doesn’t make you miss your Dad even more. Maybe FI and his Mum could join you and you could do one together? If you’re not experienced dancers yourselves you could take a dancing lesson or two and ask the teacher to make you a fun little routine.
Talk to your Mum how she feels about walking you down the aisle. I think it would be beautiful and you’ll be able to have both of your parents right there with you if you pin a little charm with a picture of your Dad to your bouquet.
Post # 13
@BrandNewBride: +1. I would either skip the dance or I would dance with my mom. It would be a very emotional, yet very symbolic gesture. 🙂
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@wabanzi: I adore the family dance idea!! I can already picture it happening. 🙂
@peonyinparis: I think I would like to involve my uncle somehow — the loss of my dad is also really hard on him. I almost lost him to a black out earlier while he was playing badminton this July; he was really lucky that a nurse and a paramedic were playing badminton that day and that there was a defibrillator on site. Heart problems is genetic, I think. He’s really sad his condition makes it impossible for him to fly to our home country to bid my dad farewell.
@Daizy914: Aw, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. Bear Hugs!! That is so touching! Reading your post made me cry. Planning a wedding without my dad physically around is really tough. I really like the mother-daughter dance idea too! My mother accidentally ruined her surprising me with singing a really cute folk song at my reception; my dad was going to play the guitar while she sang. I’m so glad we got a rough recording of my dad playing while my mom sang.
Post # 15
Both my parents moved onto the spirit world. So I honoured them both with a locket on my bouquet with pictures from thier wedding day so they would be with me as I walked down the aisle with my son. We had seats reserved for then up front with photos of them. There was a candle lit at the entrance and they were mentioned in our program. I had them announce the father daughter dance in honour of my Dad while I danced with my brother and my brother in law.
Post # 16
My father is also deceased and I don’t think I’ll be doing anything to “honor” him since I feel that turns the wedding celebration into a memorial service :-/