- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I think if you get legally married on say a Wednesday, and then have the wedding on Saturday, that’s totally fine and there’s no need to even mention it to anyone! No one will care if it’s just a few days apart – that often needs to happen because marriage is a legal act.
I don’t think you should go out of your way not to tell your guests, but there is no need for you to shout from the rooftop that the ceremony won’t actually be legal.
Would I be offended as a guest? No.
But would I think it was weird that you got married ahead of time just because you want your dating anniversary to be the same as your wedding anniversary instead of just picking a date that works well for you and would be meaningful all on its own as your wedding date? Yes.
But hey, if it’s that important to you, go for it. Nobody can tell you there’s a “wrong” way to get married and start your life together. If you feel it’s right, then it’s right.
ETA: I should note that for me, the date that would be important would be the date on the invitations, the date I said my vows, and the date I celebrated with my family and new husband. Even if I did the “legal” part of the ceremony early, that date wouldn’t mean much to me. There will be all kinds of dates on your paperwork: the date you got your marriage license, the date the probate signed the certified copy after receiving the license, etc. But what day are you really going to remember?
We did it, but in reverse. We had a wedding ceremony, but the person we wanted to do the ceremony couldnt get legal in our state. So we had our marriage ceremony a few days later on our Honeymoon in Vegas.
My opinion is that a year is TONS of time to plan a wedding – do the whole shebang on your real annivesary! Think of how special it will be 😀
But if you really think it’ll be financially un-feasible to have a wedding in one year, that’s a different story. In that case I wouldn’t choose to seperate the two if you didn’t need to. If 1 year isn’t enough time, maybe you can have your wedding on your half anniversary! (The same day of the month, but six months later!) Then you get to celebrate an anniversary 2x per year. How fun!
Thanks for your ideas – I just wanted to know if some people might think that it was odd (I guess my question was answered..). I’m almost admitted as a lawyer which is why I wanted it to have our anniversary on the marriage certificate – just my kinda thing. Thanks for the input.. I don’t think I would ever have kept it a secret from guests but I thought maybe no one would bother coming if it wasn’t the real deal.
To be fair – this post was a bit of a freak out – My Future Sister-In-Law sent me bridal magazines and I can’t believe how much people do!!!!! There are sooooo many details to think about!!
I say go for it. We are considering the same thing. We want my brother to be the officiant but you have to go through hoops here in VA to get ordained since online ordination isn’t recognized as being ‘legal’. So we’re probably having the marriage commissioner at the courthouse ‘legally’ marry us then have the ceremony a few days later. It’s not deceiving anyone because it’s not really anyone else’s business (or anniversary!) Your guests are there to celebrate you and your partner! Goodluck!
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