(Closed) Ceremony and Legal Marriage on different days?

• LilliePad
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: September 2014

@bostongirl27:  the priest didn’t allow it because he had some sort of policy against marguing someone who had already been married once, and he didn’t see the difference. It wasn’t my wedding, so don’t really know anymore about it. I figured it wasn’t a Catholic thing, it was just a deal with this priest. He wouldn’t allow it unless it was due to circumstances out of their control. I don’t think it was that he didn’t want them to have 2 ceremonies, he just required that the catholic ceremony be the “real” one (aka where they signed the marriage license and became legally married). 

• lolot
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I think if you get legally married on say a Wednesday, and then have the wedding on Saturday, that’s totally fine and there’s no need to even mention it to anyone!  No one will care if it’s just a few days apart – that often needs to happen because marriage is a legal act.

• sukramt
• 8 years ago

I don’t think you should go out of your way not to tell your guests, but there is no need for you to shout from the rooftop that the ceremony won’t actually be legal.

• anemonie
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: October 2012

Would I be offended as a guest? No.

But would I think it was weird that you got married ahead of time just because you want your dating anniversary to be the same as your wedding anniversary instead of just picking a date that works well for you and would be meaningful all on its own as your wedding date? Yes.

But hey, if it’s that important to you, go for it. Nobody can tell you there’s a “wrong” way to get married and start your life together. If you feel it’s right, then it’s right.

ETA: I should note that for me, the date that would be important would be the date on the invitations, the date I said my vows, and the date I celebrated with my family and new husband. Even if I did the “legal” part of the ceremony early, that date wouldn’t mean much to me. There will be all kinds of dates on your paperwork: the date you got your marriage license, the date the probate signed the certified copy after receiving the license, etc. But what day are you really going to remember?

• KoiKove
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: October 2010

We did it, but in reverse. We had a wedding ceremony, but the person we wanted to do the ceremony couldnt get legal in our state. So we had our marriage ceremony a few days later on our Honeymoon in Vegas.

• karineh
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: April 2013

@cat89:  your wedding, your marriage, do what you want to do. I say go for it and have fun ! Congrats too ! 

 

• cbgg
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: April 2013

My opinion is that a year is TONS of time to plan a wedding – do the whole shebang on your real annivesary!  Think of how special it will be 😀

But if you really think it’ll be financially un-feasible to have a wedding in one year, that’s a different story.  In that case I wouldn’t choose to seperate the two if you didn’t need to.  If 1 year isn’t enough time, maybe you can have your wedding on your half anniversary!  (The same day of the month, but six months later!)  Then you get to celebrate an anniversary 2x per year.  How fun!  

• DIBs2B
• 8 years ago

• Wedding: April 2015

I say go for it. We are considering the same thing. We want my brother to be the officiant but you have to go through hoops here in VA to get ordained since online ordination isn’t recognized as being ‘legal’. So we’re probably having the marriage commissioner at the courthouse ‘legally’ marry us then have the ceremony a few days later. It’s not deceiving anyone because it’s not really anyone else’s business (or anniversary!) Your guests are there to celebrate you and your partner! Goodluck!