(Closed) Ceremony Friday, Reception Saturday?

posted 11 years ago in Reception
  • poll: If I received a reception invite ONLY, I would:
    Not feel offended. : (32 votes)
    76 %
    Feel offended. : (8 votes)
    19 %
    Other. : (2 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    3930 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    see, in this scenario, i wouldn’t be offended.  if it were vice versa, i would.  also, i’d be very careful about keeping the ceremony REALLY small (parents will want to keep tacking more people on)….because the larger the ceremony, the more likely to offend me. 

    Post # 5
    3930 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    then i say go for it!

    Post # 7
    220 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    it’s fine alot of people do this.

    Post # 8
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I don’t think you need to do two separate nights unless you really don’t want to be in your dress and everything for the reception. Regardless of how you do it, I don’t think it’s a big deal.

    People get ffended when you invite them to the ceremony only and not the reception. That looks like you wanted to share with them but weren’t willing to pay for them to be at your reception. It can come across badly. But a reception only invite doesn’t read the same way. You’re hosting them and treating them well, and the ceremony can be personal for some people who just don’t like the idea of a ton of people there.

    Whether they’re on two different nights or the same night, all you need are two sets of invitations. One for the people who are invited to both, and a different one for the reception only folks. If you want the same night then just have the reception only folks show up at the reception site when you intend for it to start. And be anal retentive about making that run on time.If you want two different nights, then timing isn’t as much of an issue since it’s your only worry that day.

    That was a long answer to say I think it’s fine either way. Sorry. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Post # 10
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    To be completely honest, I’d feel mixed about this. I guess depending on who the couple is. If it’s for a very close friend I’d feel hurt. If my BFF did this to me, I’d be crushed knowing she didn’t see me close to invite me to her ceremony. After all, she IS my Maid/Matron of Honor for my own wedding. If I got this invite from just an acquaintance I’d feel two things. A) Wow, they thought of me in celebrating their love, cool!! And I’m sure the thought of B) Are they fishing for gifts?? Would go through my mind for a quick second.


    Anyways, best of luck.

    Post # 11
    1953 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I don’t think it looks like you are fishing for gifts because you are still throwing an awesome reception for everyone.  

    The one thing I would say is that you would need to plan a really cool entrance or beginning of the reception.  Even just having a DJ announce you guys and your parents or something like that??  Then go into a first dance like at a regular wedding reception?  This would give you guys a bit of a chance to kinda have your moment in the light and let your guests get a good look at you and then get down to the party.  

    Post # 12
    8943 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Do most of the people have to travel or are they local?  I might be kind of iffy to travel a long distance to only go to a reception and not see the wedding but if I lived next door and wasn’t BFFs with the person, I would probably understand.

    Post # 13
    3928 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I haven’t been in this situation, but I am thinking that I probably wouldn’t be offended. I do have a suggestion though for those that might be. What about having a video of your ceremony available to watch at your reception. I think that would satisfy most of the guests that might be offended.

    Post # 14
    3674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We had a small ceremony (30 people including wedding party) and a bigger reception (90 people) on the same night.

    We had good reasons for this, a big one being that I get anxious in front of people and I get really bad migraines. I wanted to get rid of all possible triggers to give me a migraine, and a big wedding was one of them. But hubby wanted a big wedding. We compromised.

    Some people understood, some didn’t. My aunt still isn’t talking to us after she hung up the phone when she found out she wasn’t invited to the ceremony. It also made a lot of oot guests not come at all b/c they didn’t want to fly all this way and not see us get married.

    Even with all of that stress, I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I loved our wedding, I loved how intimate it was, and if people can’t understand that it’s their own problem.

    Post # 15
    1830 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I will be doing this. My ceremony is Friday night at 7pm (the earliest we can do it at our venue). Aftweards we may do something fun with our 50- 70 guests, family only (ideas welcome! right now, bowling is winning out ๐Ÿ™‚ since we still have the photographer and to thank them for coming. Saturday we will have an open house reception with the DJ/dancing starting around 5 and going until 10pm.

    I can’t wait ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 16
    438 posts
    Helper bee

    My BF rec’d a reception only invite to a wedding (I was a +1) last year and he wasn’t offended in the least.  We just assumed the ceremony was only for close friends and family.  Not once did the BF (or I) think they were fishing for gifts. 

    I’ve thought about doing this myself but I will have a lot of Out of Town guests and I wouldn’t think it would be fair to them to only be able to attend the ceremony. 

    So I say go for it!  Maybe there’s some way you can convey that the ceremony is only for family and close friends only to make sure that no one is offended?

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