(Closed) ceremony help

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Amy, a very good friend of ours was deputized at city hall specifically to perform our ceremony.  Even though he knew both of us well, we all ahd to figure out how we wanted the script to read.

I highly recommend surfing the Net for ceremony scripts.  We are also non-religious, so so just chose the parts that we liked and built our script from there.  Feel free to change words around, etc.  Do you want to allow for a spot for each of you to say your personally written vows to each other?

I think you are better off writing the script yourself to incorporate the sentiment you want then review it with your officiant to get his input.  Definitely discuss whether you want him to adlib, or just stick to the script. 

We chose our officiant because we knew he’d add a few funny moments, which he did brilliantly.  You probably want to talk about your boundaries ahead of time, because it can come off really badly if what he thinks is funny, really isn’t funny!

You’re the only one who knows the cool things about you as a couple, and individually, so write those things down that you want him to know, i.e., how you met, if there’s any endearing stories about your relationship, proposal, that he can incorporate.  Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

We had the same issue with our officiant. Here is our ceremony. Hope it helps you.

PROCESSIONAL

OPENING WORDS OF THE OFFICIANT : Friends, we have been invited here today to share with Groom and Bride a very important moment in their lives. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

THE GIVING IN MARRIAGE (optional): "Who supports this couple in their marriage?"  “We do” (all guests)

FIRST  READING (The Art of Marriage)

DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE: Dear friends we have come not to mark the start of a relationship but to recognize bond that already exist. To ensure a healthy lasting marriage, always value each other, you may have disagreements but remember to respect each other’s feelings, needs and wants. The institution of marriage was begun that you may learn how to love, and in loving find joy. Learn how to share pain and loneliness and in sharing find strength, learn how to give and in giving find communion. Marriage is a promise of companionship, of having someone to share all of life’s experiences. Marriage does not promise that there will not be any rough times, just the assurance that there will always be someone who cares and will help you through to better times. Marriage does not promise eternal romance, just eternal love and commitment. Marriage can’t prevent disappointment, disillusionment, or grief, but it can offer hope, acceptance, and comfort. Marriage can’t protect you from making individual choices or shelter you from the world, but it will help to reassure you that there is someone by your side who truly cares. When the world hurts you, and makes you feel vulnerable, marriage offers the promise that there will be someone to listen, to console, to inspire. Marriage is the joining of two people who share the promise that only marriage can make, to share the sunshine and the shadows, And to experience a richer, fuller life because of it

DECLARATION OF INTENT : Groom/Bride, do you take Bride/Groom to be your wife/husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death do you part?” “I do”

INTRODUCTION TO VOWS : Groom and Bride. It is a great joy and pleasure for me to be standing here with you on this momentous day, sharing in your marriage ceremony, and witnessing the life-long commitment you are making to one another this day. I must remind you that the vows you are about to say to one another belong entirely to you. The words I speak have no magical powers, and nothing that I can say or do on this day can ultimately make your marriage endure with beauty, fidelity, and joy. Only you, by the integrity and diligence of your love, can make these vows last. So will you now join hands, and repeat your vows after me?   

PERSONALIZED WEDDING VOWS

SECOND READING (Rocks)

EXCHANGE OF RINGS OR GIFTS "Groom/Bride, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and faithfulness. As I place it on your finger, I commit myself to you. I ask you to wear this ring as a reminder of the vows we have spoken today, on our wedding day.”

SIGNING OF REGISTER

CLOSING: Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulties and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives — remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.

BLESSING: A Prayer for a Wedding

DECLARATION OF MARRIAGE: Groom and Bride, you have told me, and all who are gathered here today that you deeply love one another, and wish to live together now seeking an ever-richer, ever-deeper relationship. You have formed your own union-in friendship, in respect for one another, and in Love – and it is therefore now my joyful task to pronounce you Husband and Wife. 

KISS

INTRODUCTION OF NEWLYWEDS “I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Lastname"

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2008

We started planning our ceremony and found this really good book: The Wedidng Ceremony Planner: The Essential Guide to the Most Important Part of Your Wedding Day by Reverend Judith Johnson

It has just about everything spelled out with tons of examples. My Fiance and I have slowly been going through it. Our officiant hasn’t been much help, she’s mostly of the opinion that it is our ceremony, she’ll say whatever we want.

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