Ceremony "not being for the guests"

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 17
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

akshali2000 :  I wouldn’t worry too much about the timing as long as you communicate that it’s not required for them to come and stay for the ceremony. Most of the people that you really want to be there will be there and then some as I would be genuinely curious to see what a Hindu wedding is like. 

For a venue, I would highly recommend looking exclusively at hotels. I’ve worked in catering for a number of years and I always loved when we had indian weddings because we would get to stay late (2 or 3 in the morning) to do the set up so it starts on time in the morning. It was wonderful to experience because it was something different and it was fun to stay up when it’s all quiet with work friends and then we’d just go to breakfast after 🙂 Plus we all get over time which is nice. It’s also great for your guests becasue they can check in the  night before and then they just need to get up and come downstairs and sometimes breakfast service at a hotel can open early (5am) if you know you’re going to have a lot of guests that are going to be there in the morning prior to the wedding.

Post # 18
Member
3666 posts
Sugar bee

akshali2000 :  It sounds like you need to just decide if you are willing to follow his customs and traditions and have a traditional wedding. He is right that the traditional (long) ceremony will be attended by those who want to attend (i.e. close family). You could send a separate invite out for the traditional ceremony to family only. His side will obviously understand what’s going on. Even with shorter religious ceremonies, not everyone attends who will end up at the reception…especially if the reception is held in a different location. If you want a non-secular ceremony followed by a reception, you can invite people to that and make it its own thing. I’ve seen this done many times with Indian weddings. 

Post # 20
Member
22 posts
Newbee

Its really common for people of different traditions to have not one, but two weddings. Say you have the traditional ceremony in the morning of say a Friday or Saturday. Then the next day, or on a completely separate day you have a more American ceremony. 

I happen to agree about the statement about how the ceremony isn’t about the guests, but the couple. 

Post # 21
Member
3029 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

OMG I always wanted to attend a huge lavish Hindu wedding where the entire town is invited, but the only invite I got was for one in India when I was eight months pregnant so I couldn’t go. Weirdly enough I have attended a Hindu funeral, though. 

I live in an area highly populated by Chinese Americans, so I’ve been to a lot of intercultural weddings. Usually there are two ceremonies and one big fusion reception. I think it’s because deviating from the ceremony script upsets a lot of people but we are open to any kind of party as long as we get fed. All of the ones I’ve attended had the Christian ceremony in the late morning or early afternoon and the reception immediately after, which makes me think that the Chinese ceremony must have come first. 

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