- 1 year ago
- Wedding: October 2018
My dad is officiating our ceremony and I’m writing the script! I’ve basically looked all over Pinterest and the internet to pull out bits and pieces from other ceremony scripts to create a ceremony that reflects us as a couple. I want it to have a religious, but nondenominational, slant that also reflects the relationship we share (known each other for 10 yrs and together for 5). We’ve gone through a lot together in the past 10 yrs and are much stronger for it! Can y’all read through and give me your advice? Is it personalized enough?
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this special ______day to celebrate one of life’s most joyous moments and to cherish the words that will unite _____and _____in marriage.
Marriage is the promise between two people who love each other and who trust in that love, who honor one another as individuals and who decide to spend the rest of their lives together.
_____, _____, this ceremony will not create a relationship that does not already exist between you. Rather, it is an acknowledgement and a celebration of the love and life you share together. It is an affirmation of the choice you make everyday to stand together as partners and to love each other wholly. It is a symbol of how far you two have come since you first met at _______in 2008. From then until now, and through the ups and downs of life, you have been many things to each other- acquaintance, coworker, salsa-sharing companion, best friend, partner, and love. The vows you exchange today will bring you across a threshold into marriage and you will become something new to one another- husband and wife.
Let us pray:________
Reading #1: “To Love is Not to Possess”
To love is not to possess,
To own or imprison,
Nor to lose one’s self in another.
Love is to join and separate,
To walk alone and together,
To find a laughing freedom
That lonely isolation does not permit.
It is finally to be able
To be who we really are
No longer clinging in childish dependency
Nor docilely living separate lives in silence,
It is to be perfectly one’s self
And perfectly joined in permanent commitment
To another–and to one’s inner self.
Love only endures when it moves like waves,
Receding and returning gently or passionately,
Or moving lovingly like the tide
In the moon’s own predictable harmony,
Because finally, despite a child’s scars
Or an adult’s deepest wounds,
They are openly free to be
Who they really are–and always secretly were,
In the very core of their being
Where true and lasting love can alone abide.
Address/Charge to bride and groom
Both of you come to this day with the deep realization that the contract of marriage is sacred. Marriage, as in life, challenges us to find the best in each other, to learn from each other, and to deepen our love, our compassion, and our understanding of each other.
Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes that life is unable to avoid, and yet it encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life.
You will still have your lives apart as well as your life together. You will still have your separate ways to find. But a marriage made in heaven is one where a man and a woman become more richly themselves together than the chances are either of them could ever have managed to become alone.
When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they bind themselves together closer than any spoken or written words. For marriage is a promise, a potential- that which will take a lifetime to fulfill.
I would ask that you be constantly grateful for this precious person who has chosen to make a life with you. I encourage you to speak kind words and be thoughtful in your actions toward one another, to always be open and truthful, and to make your marriage and your home an uplifting refuge.
As it is stated in Ephesians 4:2, “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other’s faults because of your love.”
Reading #2: C.S. Lewis: (“Mere Christianity”)
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also many things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last, principles can last, habits can last; but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably was never was or ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.
Betrothal (declaration of intent)
Because you have freely and prayerfully chosen each other as partners for life and in an expression of your total commitment to one another, I now ask of you:
_______, do you take this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Do you promise to love her/him, in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others to be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?
Before ____and _____exchange their vows, we should recognize that they are not exchanged in a void. Those of us here today represent a facet of their lives gathered together in this one shared moment. We are not just witnesses to their promises today, but willing participants in their lives together, both before and after their marriage vows. Each of you by your presence here today is being called upon to support ____ and _____in loving one another- to help lift them up when life is hard, to remind them during difficult times of the vows made on this day and to celebrate when life is joyful.
In this spirit, _____and ____ ask of you all now, “will you support our marriage and partnership, as you have throughout our lives thus far?” If so, please answer, “yes”
______and ______ are going to present their vows they have written together. They have spent time reflecting on what is important to promise to one another in their relationship and marriage.
Blessing and exchange of rings
This is the point in the ceremony where we usually talk about the wedding bands being a perfect circle, with no beginning and no end. Although they are a circle, we know that these rings do have a beginning. Rock is dug up from the earth. Metal is liquefied in a furnace at a thousand degrees, then molded, cooled, and painstakingly polished. Something beautiful is made from raw elements. Love is like that. It comes from humble beginnings, made by imperfect beings. It’s the process of making something beautiful where there was once nothing at all.
As you place this ring on her/his finger, please repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed.
St. Augustine described the nature of God like “a circle whose center is everywhere and circumference cannot be found.” As you wear these rings, may they symbolize the nature of God in your lives and remind you of your enduring love for each other.
May your love bring all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring.
May you need each other, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you look for things to praise, often say “I love you”, and take no notice of small faults.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another.
And may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
Pronouncement of husband and wife
_____, _____, throughout the wedding ceremony, you have vowed to love one another and promised your loyalty before those gathered here today.
You have both formalized and sanctified your bond by exchanging wedding vows and rings.
This is your relationship, your wedding, your marriage, your life. You had the amazing good fortune to find one another. And now you get to define what love and marriage means to you. This will be one of your greatest tasks and greatest adventures. Your married life will be uniquely yours. No one else had this life and no one else ever will. So make it loving, make it thrilling, and make it last!
And now…..by the power vested to me by the state of _____, I am honored to pronounce you husband and wife!
You may kiss your bride!
For the first time, I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. _____!