(Closed) Ceremony Seating – divorced parents,stepsiblings,extended family oh my!

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010


 I can completely relate with your situation! Are your parents civil with each other? I would suggest seating the grandparents between Mom and Dad. I know its a bit odd and may not work if your grandparents aren’t on good terms with your mom, but its an option. 


I may be splitting mine up this way since the grandparents on both sides get along with each other and each parent, but my parents and their SI don’t get along so well. 


Good Luck!

Post # 4
442 posts
Helper bee

I have almost the exact same problem.

Even if I sat one group on the groom’s side…I think I’m literally going to have to hire security.

I think the way you have it arranged seems fair. And if they don’t think so, who cares? You tried, so that’s what matters. I also agree with Bamboo, that maybe if Mom & Dad aren’t very civil you may want to stick Grandparents between them. Grandparents have a way of calming the storm sometimes, and even if they don’t get along with Mom, sometimes it’s easier for the Grandparents to just suck it up for your day.

good luck

Post # 5
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

This totally isn’t going to help, but I can at least commiserate with the seating difficulty.  One of our guests was a girl named Desirae who my husband is friends with now, but when they were in high school, they dated and even lived together after graduation.  I accept the friendship because I trust him completely, but she just annoys me – her personality bothers me.  Even if they had never dated, she is SO not someone I’d be friends with.  That said, it was hard figuring out where to seat her at the reception because I couldn’t put her at the table with my Maid/Matron of Honor because she does NOT like her.  My sister, I knew, would be drinking – and when she drinks, she speaks her mind.  Couldn’t seat those two together.  Ditto for my boss, who I’m friends with.  The seating plan would have been easy peasy if not for throwing her in the mix. 

Post # 6
83 posts
Worker bee

I’d put the parents and grandparents in the front row..let them work out who sits by who and everyone else is on their own

Post # 7
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have the situation of step famlies as well.. on my moms side it is 4 step siblings and stepdad and on dads side it is 2 step siblings and step mom…plus my 2 sisters as well as all the extended family….

To solve my seating situations I am just going to reserve the first couple rows and tell them to go nuts… they can pick where they want to sit and not complain a bit about it.

Post # 8
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m in the same boat; my aunt does not mesh with my other aunt and cousins there’s not enough room in my own family’s table and I cant seat her with friends or she’ll feel demoted..help!

Post # 10
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We specified where moms and dads sat, and then the rest of the family filled in the first rows where they liked.  No planning, no mistakes, no issues.

Post # 11
17 posts

My parents are divorced, but can tolerate eachother.  My mom gets along really well with my dad’s family.  I just sat them Mom, grandmother, great aunt, dad.  Nobody had a problem with it.  My dad’s girlfriend sat with his family.

In your case I would put the parents and grandparents in assigned seating in the first row and let everyone else sort it out for themselves.

Post # 12
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

My mother thought she had the greatest solution to seating the Future Mother-In-Law and her husband and my Future Father-In-Law. She said, well since there will be more people there that he knows why not sit him with FH’s friends from Texas and the Future Mother-In-Law can sit at my family’s table – I said HELL NO!!!!!!!!! That would make my Future Father-In-Law feel like he’s not good enough to sit with my family or that my family would prefer to sit with her rather than him…I said no, she doesnt know alot of people b/c she made it that way – she moved away from the state where her son was living and far from his life – I am not going to prefer her b/c she doenst know many other guests – They will be a separate tables – but I refuse to sit one with my family and the other with FH’s friends.

For God sakes, his father raised him w/ his grandmother!!!!!! Ill sit him with his family and her with his friends or business partners.

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