(Closed) Ceremony seating “etiquette” question

posted 7 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think that sounds fine.  My church didn’t even allow us to do bride’s side/groom’s side (not that I wanted to – but it is one of their rules).

Ushers still wouldn’t be a bad thing just to kind of keep the sides a bit more even (as people may still naturally divide themselves) and ensure grandparents and such have spots inthe front (assuming you are doing that).

Post # 4
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’re not having sides (same situation, more of FI’s family is invited than mine), or ushers. The sign idea is cute, though I’d maybe try to shorten the wording a bit. You can definitely skip the ushers. Perhaps just have the groomsmen escort moms, grandmothers, etc. if you want to do that.

Post # 5
Member
1014 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

our wedding was a semi relaxed fancy garden party… my family is huge, my husbands is tiny.  people just sat wherever they wanted, no explanation was necessary.  also, we just had our programs and celbration (yay!) flags on a little table that the guests just picked up… so no ushers for us, either.  worked perfectly!!

Post # 7
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s your wedding, do it the way you want! The idea of merging two families as one only seems right to spill over into the ceremony seating! I think it’s a great idea! I had previously been thinking the same thing — and I think we’ll do open ceremony seating with the GM’s helping the mothers/grandmothers, and maybe as FutureKMM: said to keep the sides from being uneven:)

Good Luck!

Post # 8
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I really like the idea of a sign – IF you don’t have ushers.

Here was my experience – I had 2/3rds of the guest list – Fiance had 1/3rd.  I hoped and prayed that people would just sit up close – but people picked sides.  My side was packed and people started sitting in the back on DH’s side – leaving a big gap in the middle of his section (between the family and the guests) – it looked SO weird.

Just went to a wedding this past weekend and the same thing happened – groom had more and everyone piled on his side, leaving her side sparse (no ushers).

If I were to do it all over – I would have insisted on ushers (DH didn’t want them and I thought word of mouth would be good enough).  

 

 

Post # 9
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Kant: love the idea of the sign!  I’m pretty sure (ok, hoping!) that it won’t be necessairy with our family and friends…. maybe I’ll bring this up with my Fiance….

Post # 9
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think people would sit where they could find a seat anyway.  But with you having a sign, I’m sure it will work out even better.

Post # 10
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

dratted double post!!!

Post # 11
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your idea sounds pretty good, but another way to ensure equal seating on both sides is to HAVE equal seating on both sides. Use as many chairs as you have positive RSVP’s, and split them evenly on both sides. His side might fill up first if people aren’t reading your note properly, but the remaining guests will have no choice but to sit in the remaining seats. I can’t remember the last wedding I attended that actually went by the traditional split sides anyway; I’ve always just sat where I found room. I wouldn’t worry too much about it hon, they’ll sit where you have the seats. Organize the seats and you’ll automatically organize your guests.

Post # 14
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it’s fine my suggestion would be to not have the seats on either side then but all in front and together and have the bride walk in from the side. 

Post # 15
Member
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think that sounds like a cute plan 🙂 My husband had about 10-12 family members come, as opposed to my 80 something, & 95% of our friends are good friends to BOTH of us, not necessarily his friends or my friends, so we had the same deal.. My brothers were ushers so I told them I didn’t want sides, just to seat people wherever.  When the ratio is so skewed, you don’t want to be doing sides.  I can’t imagine why anyone would really care if you didn’t do designated bride’s side/groom’s side.  

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