Post # 1
My fiance and I originally picked a wedding/reception date of 9/10/11 however the more I look into costs the more i’m thinking I want a small ceremony (immediate family only) within the next few months and then a big reception next year after we’ve had time to save. I keep reading articles about this type of arrangement however I also keep reading that people think it’s rude to do such a thing and that people will be offended, etc. I thought that by having a small ceremony my fiance and I would be able to enjoy it and take it all in, rather than trying to have everything all at once and the day going by so quickly. Then have a ceremony next summer sometime with all of our family and friends and be able to enjoy that as well.
Anyone have any thoughts or insight into this?!?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I had a friend who did this, and I think it is a wonderful option. Personally, I would not be offended by this arrangement, and if it feels right for you guys, I think you should go ahead with it.
Post # 4
I think if you do a small ceremony only and that is made clear in your invitations that would be just fine. I think people have a problem when there is a ceremony and reception on the same day and they only get invited to one or the other.
My FI’s cousin is doing something similar where she got married last November in a small Mormon ceremony, where most people couldn’t watch anyways. And this May she is having like a wedding open house.
Post # 5
My FI’s cousins did this. They got married via courthouse 1.5 years ago and are having a “formal” ceremony and reception this year. This was also because they had a baby 1.5 years ago so it might be different…
Post # 6
I dont think there is anything wrong with it.
Post # 7
If that’s what you want to do, go for it! My only word of warning is that you may never get around to the big reception. This was how my sister planned to have her wedding: she and her Fiance eloped to the Carribean, then came home, got back to real life and never got around to planning the big party!
Post # 8
I don’t really like that idea. I am ok with it if the orginial wedding is a small Destination Wedding or an elopement, and the big reception is held soon after you get home.
But I don’t think you should call it a wedding or reception when the party is a year later. Maybe call it an anniversary or vow renewal. Or just a celebration or party.
But the reasons behind it matter too. Do you have any reasons other than financial and just wanting to enjoy a small ceremony?
Also, why not just wait to get married until next summer?
Post # 9
I’m with Jacqi, I’m not a fan of the idea and would maybe feel it’s a bit of a cash grab (even if it wasn’t). I also wouldn’t call the 2nd ceremony a wedding or reception as it’s not. It just seems a bit bizarre to me. If you want to have a small ceremony then go for it. But no need to do it all over again a year later.
Post # 10
I had a small Destination Wedding, with the idea of having a reception at home when we came back. My SIL wanted to organize it… When came time to get into the planning, DH and I agreed that we just didn’t want it anymore.
I mean, we were married, and we had seen people in the meantime, so we didn’t see the point of gathering people to celebrate after the fact, when they had said congrats already..
My parents will be hosting a bbq this summer for their family who couldn’t come and we don’t really have a say in it, but it’ll be fine because we’ll also be celebrating birthdays, my dad will unveil our wedding video for the first time – so there are some things other to celebrate…
But hey, that’s just us; we went for a Destination Wedding because we don’t really like being the centre of attention in the first place, so celebrating “us” after the fact just made us uncomfortable…
Post # 11
I don’t know….maybe I am old fashioned, but I think having a wedding with reception over a year later is just a little innapropriate. Maybe you could do a renewal of your vows at that time and word your invitaion differently, but honestly, in my opinion it would not be a true reception for your marriage if it’s a year later.
Post # 12
Personally, I would not like having reception one year later. If I did have the reception one year later, I would have make it “one year anniversary dinner.” Not a wedding reception.
But if you like it, go for it. Everyone is different.
Post # 13
Yeah, with a Destination Wedding it’s different and makes sense, even if the reception (we/my family calls it a homecoming) is a few months later.
Post # 14
We are definitely considering the pros and cons to getting married this year and waiting until next year to have a reception. I appreciate everyone’s feedback!
Post # 15
I think if you are careful with how you handle it, that is one thing – but it’s a fine line.
Someone in my circle of friends (someone I was very close to at one point and time) eloped last year and mailed out a card stating they were married and would have a BBQ next summer (this was in June) – A year later we got an invitation to a destination weekend wedding celebration that falls on their anniversary of the elopment wedding. It requires travel and lodging for everyone invited and was designed to be a ‘retreat’ weekend full of activities that guests were expected to foot the bill for. They even put information about their ‘registry’ on the website. And? We aren’t going to spend the whole weekend celebrating a year old marriage and attending a BBQ that is 3 hours from our home.
Personally, I’d say if you plan to do something like this, only register for the ceremony portion and do the reception within 3 months of the wedding or so. Otherwise, I wouldn’t call it a wedding reception.
Post # 16
Hey abbie9! My hubby and I are doing this. We eloped in January, my parents are hosting a wine/cheese party for us this summer, then we’re having a 1 year anniversary celebration in Sri Lanka with his side and again for all our friends and family next Spring. The party my parents are hosting is just for the people who wont be able to travel to the other two parties. Our big reception, which we’ll have in DC next spring, will be a year and a half later- but we dont care. We think its important to experience the big wedding reception, regardless of when we do it. Plus, just think of how creative you can get with invitation wording, reception themes and colors because you’ve already had your ceremony. I know I’m appreciating not getting stuck in the “traditional” rut. Good luck with your decision making!!