- 10 years ago
I have a horrible situation regarding my ceremony that just keeps getting worse. I actually posted something tangentially related to it earlier today but now it is even worse than we thought.
We booked my Future In-Laws church for our wedding day. We haven’t paid any fees, but we did ask an officiant who is not a pastor at the church but who is a former member. We are on the church calendar.
We booked the church because we were indifferent about where to have the ceremony, but it was an easy way to make my Future Mother-In-Law happy, since we haven’t involved her much. My Future Mother-In-Law told us that the church is very liberal and we would have plenty of room to personalize the sanctuary and the ceremony. We booked on the assumption that we would be free to do what we wanted, with reasonable limitations (no hailing satan, no sacrificing animals, etc)
Now, a few weeks later, all these new rules are popping up. We aren’t allowed to remove the altar or pulpit hangings, even though they are bright red (our colors are sage, chocolate, and lavender). We are only allowed floral displays in church vases- no flowers on the pews, no bringing in our own vases. No candles, no greenery, no ribbon, either. We are only allowed two baskets of flowers in the area outside the sanctuary- no other decoration.
Also, there are all these religious customs that have to be incorporated into the ceremony, including having a crucifer lead the processional and recessional. I am EXTREMELY uncomfortable with this as neither of us is religious and we are inviting friends from all different backgrounds…
Basically, the entire thing has gone from "make it a celebration however you want it" to "this is going to be the most solemn ceremony ever."
Future Mother-In-Law is giving us a hard time about changing, and even though Fiance is unhappy with the rules, he doesn’t want to contradict her. I am pretty fed up at this point. I just don’t know how to make my Fiance see that it is ok to tell his mother that we aren’t going to do this her way…