(Closed) Ceremony woes

posted 10 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
32 posts
  • Wedding: August 2008

I read somewhere that the wedding planning process helps the engaged couple practice how they will deal with problems and their respective families in the future. (read: If he doesn’t want to contradict her now, how is that going to change when you are husband and wife?  Should she be the primary woman in his life and the one he refuses to contradict?)  That being said, I think you might want to try telling your Fiance that as much as his mother wants the wedding to be in her church, it is important to the two of you to have the ceremony that *you* want.  You only get to have one wedding and it’s important that it be the way the *two of you* want it to be.  It’s not like this is a relatively minor issue, it sounds like the ceremony is not going to be the way you all were led to believe it was going to be. 

 I hope this works out for you!  Please keep us posted!

Post # 4
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Do you think there’s anyway to compromise without really compromising!!! Let me explain… What about if you had the ceremony where you want, how you want it etc. but agreed to have your marriage blessed at a later date at your Future Mother-In-Law church. She can plan that whole thing then but you get to have your day how you want it, you said you weren’t religious so maybe you could pick somewhere alternative, beautiful but meaningful to the two of you. But I agree with MisstoMrsin42Days do seriously talk to your Fiance you really don’t want to create a triangle of tension that is taken into your marriage!… (and further… christenings/ baby dedications etc. etc.)

Post # 5
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I agree with MisstoMrsin42 days. How your fiance acts now will predict how he’ll act in the future. So, you really need to discuss this with him, about how important it is for him to back you up, not fear his mother. Be very nice when you say this, though, because you don’t want him to start to fear you, too!

Post # 6
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

No matter how badly your fiance doesn’t want to upset his mother, it does not change the fact that this is not his mother’s wedding. She had her turn many years ago when she got married. This is yours. Quite frankly, on a spiritual level, she is asking you to lie during your own wedding. She is asking you to adhere to a religious rite that is not your own — and that IS a big deal. 

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