(Closed) Certain Family Members Not Invited

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
18628 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think it’s up to your Fiance who is invited from his side of the family.  I would stay out of it.

Post # 4
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I agree that it is awkward but if you did not make any comments about them attending the wedding, then don’t worry about it.  Assure your FI’s mom that they simply stopped by and no mention of an invite occurred and that they will not be coming.  Lots of people you “know” will offer you tips and advice during the planning process, but it doesn’t mean that they are expecting to be invited or that you have to invite them.  I think it is better to listen to your Fiance and his family in this case and not invite these other people.

Post # 5
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You and your Fiance should decide who will be invited. Guests aren’t given a who’s who list of people who are attending, they just need give their reply.

Post # 7
990 posts
Busy bee

Thats so sweet! I think your Fiance should talk to his family about the whole invite situation though, but I am sure will work out ok…

Post # 9
624 posts
Busy bee

While I think it is childish that his mom declared that she wouldn’t come if they did, I learned the hard way to let Fiance deal with his family and you deal with yours.  And while the end result may not be ‘right’ just let your Fiance decide and deal with it. 

Post # 10
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow… I think it’s time your FMIL put on her big girl panties and delt with things like an adult.  You are not asking them to talk to each other and be friends, but to just be in the same room and breathe the same air.  If it seems that you can’t work this out then maybe you could have a small party with the Future Father-In-Law and his side to celebrate the wedding.

Post # 11
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Ugh I had this problem when the wedding guest list was first being created. My Aunt and my step-grandmother (or Gramma E) have not talked in years, of course my bio-grandmother is on my aunt’s side as well as several members of the family. I told my mom and we did a grapevine thing. I said “Look, I know you don’t like one another and that is none of my business but you do have to at least be civil during my wedding. I am not asking you to talk to one another or even to bury the hatchet, none of my business like I said but I am asking you, for me, to not cause a scene. The minute I hear of some drama or you call asking me not to invite the other person, do not attend because I just don’t care and don’t want drama.” My mom agreed and we even left my phone number if anyone wanted to call.


I think that in this case, as much as you are bothered (I would be too) this ought to be taken up by your Fiance. It is not only his family but he probably knows how to handle it and make a decision. However, if he won’t or can’t, I suggest telling her to knock it off.

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