CFBC Bees, How did you meet your SO? Were you both CFBC then? Are you both now?

posted 1 year ago in No Kids
  • poll: How did you find yourself in a CFBC relationship?
    I sought out a CFBC partner and found it : (6 votes)
    16 %
    I was CFBC and he or she became CFBC too : (4 votes)
    11 %
    He or she was CFBC and I followed suit : (1 votes)
    3 %
    I am CFBC and he or she is on the fence : (2 votes)
    5 %
    He or she is CFBC and I am on the fence : (1 votes)
    3 %
    We are both on the fence : (10 votes)
    27 %
    One of us has kids and the other is not having any kids in this relationship : (8 votes)
    22 %
    Other: explain : (5 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee

    Another bee who found a like-minded partner by chance. I’d assumed I would always have kids just because that’s “what people do”, but once our relationship became serious and we actually talked about it, we realized that wasn’t what either of us wanted. Just fur children for us!

    Post # 17
    Member
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I met my husband through a mutual friend.  We were friends for a while before we started dating and then only started casually dating.  It was then that I let it be known that kids are a never for me.  It turns out he felt the same and we made our relationship official soon after that.  I never would have continued to date him if he was a maybe on kids.  

    Post # 18
    Member
    1191 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

    I was CBFC, my fiancé wasn’t when I met, when we had our second date I told him I was child free by choice and if he ever wanted a family it was probably best we didn’t date further.

    he made the choice to take w chance on me and frequently tells me he’s glad he chose me because he didn’t 100% want kids anyway and if it had happened with someone that would have been fine 

    Post # 19
    Member
    2357 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I have always been open about it. No sense in hiding what is. When I found my husband he was eh. Then when we were engaged he said he wanted kids. I said no. Then he was around kids and realized this might not be a good idea. Then I think he finally gave into the no kids thing. Personally, I think he was feeling pressure from his mother and also society telling you thats what needs to happen after you get married.  When he made a comment about how I tricked him(when we were engaged) and said I would have kids my friend, who has known me for 30 years broke out laughing and said ” You’re delusional. We’ve all known she never wanted kids and so did you.” 

     

    Its not an issue now. He’s perfectly fine with no kids. We have the dogs and a very good life of antiques and going places. He has freedom and so do I. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

    We kind of “fell into” the mindset also.. we met online 7 years ago and have been engaged for 4 mos. now. In the beginning, we thought we would have them eventually, but over time realized we didn’t want them. We aren’t attracted to kids and don’t coo over babies. We don’t really know what to say to kids. There is such a time and life committment involved that we just don’t have a desire for. He details cars for a living and yes, likes a clean car – mine is clean too 😉 We would rather find fulfillment elsewhere – with each other (date nights, etc).. travel, pay down my student loan debt, enjoy our cats, etc. We are happy being cat parents 🙂

    It is nice that it’s seemingly becoming more accepted. I was actually just interviewed by the New York Times about it! (They saw my posts on FB groups)

    Post # 21
    Member
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    We both met at work. Children was a discussion that happened early on. We both agree that kids are not for us, and we are confident in that decision. So we’ve been happily CFBC ever since. 

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